Francis Gay

Grandad’s always there to help – even if we don’t notice him

The days grow darker, winds blow cold,

As winter takes a firm hold; But instead of sitting by the fire, Get up, put on some warm attire; Venture out and you’ll realise, The benefits of some exercise.

Gary showed me two pictures he’d had framed. Unsurprisingly, they were of his grandchildren.

In one, a little girl, dressed as a princess, was doing the hokey-cokey at a party.

In the other, a little boy who had only recently learned to sit up was doing just that.

“Who’s that?” I asked, pointing to the arms and hands holding the princess as she danced.

“Oh, that’s me,” he said. “And that?” I pointed to where the little lad was reaching behind him for stability, gripping a trouser leg. “Oh, that’s me too,” he said. “But the photos aren’t about me.”

Of course not. And that’s the role grandad’s have played for countless generations – out of the spotlight, away from centre stage, directing attention to the little ones.

But even if no one else notices, the little ones always know that grandad is there … supporting them. “He thinks we serve free tea and coffee here.”

Tina described the semi-regular customer to her café like this – he’s involved in a local church, but he rarely speaks religion. He’s retired, but not well off. The people he treats to lunch are usually younger and are often recovering addicts, just out of jail, or homeless. He never talks about what they have done, just reassures them they are not alone and that things can be better for them. He always pays for both lunches.

So, to help this Good Samaritan she never charges for the many teas and coffees and she may have suggested they were normally free in her café.

Thankfully, I know the goodhearted soul we were discussing. I could tell Tina he knows what she’s doing, and he really does appreciate it! Bob asked the question and left me to wonder about it.

“If you were paid a pound for every kind word you said, and if you were charged a pound for every unkind word, would you break even at the end of the week, would you be rich, or would you be deeply in debt?”

Putting it in monetary terms helps us look at what lossmaking activities we might be indulging in and how we might increase those profits.

Because, although no one is going to pay us for the individual words we speak, this is still a win and lose situation.

Those good words, and the effects they have, will bring rewards money couldn’t buy.

Try it for a week. Your purse or wallet might weigh the same but the weight of your heart will tell you whether you talked a loss or a profit. Andrew showed me a photo he had taken on his phone.

The screen was filled with white criss-crossing lines. Seeing my puzzled face he explained. He and his wife bought a travel cot for the nights they have their new baby grandson staying over.

Andrew had been sitting on the floor gazing through the fine nylon mesh that made up the sides of the cot. His grandson just looked so content he had to take photo to capture the moment.

Unfortunately, while he was focused on the sleeping baby the camera focused on what was closest – the nylon mesh.

“We were both “looking” in the same direction,” Andrew told me, “but we ‘saw’ different things.”

In a wider context it’s proof of the old saying that we see in life only what we look for. Keep looking for the beauty!