Could my mum hear me in her dying moments?

Dear June My mum died four months ago and I am

struggling.

She had suffered for years with arthritis. I lived with her and was her carer for five years.

I’d thought about getting my own place but when Dad died I couldn’t leave her as she wouldn’t have coped.

She passed away in hospital. I was with her holding her hand. She wasn’t conscious but I just kept talking to her. Would she know I was there? Could she hear me?

Karen, Ayrshire

June Says

When you lose a loved one who was very much a part of your day-today life, it is normal to initially feel lost without them.

When we care for a loved one on a daily basis, it isn’t easy to watch as they deteriorate and suffer.

I get the impression your mum had been gravely ill on a couple of occasions and her family were advised to gather closely around her, but she seemed to rally round and lived far beyond everyone’s expectations.

She was a determined lady and I sense she made the decision early on in her illness to pass away when she was good and ready and not one minute before!

She was aware you were there with her and could also hear you talking to her. She impressed upon me that she was given permission to go. You told her your dad was waiting for her and she could go to him when she felt ready and the family would look after one another.

I strongly sense other family members had just left when she took a downward slide and peacefully passed away with you close by her.

I hear Jim being called (your dad’s name?) and feel he was there waiting for her. She was aware of him a few days prior to her passing.

Your dad’s passing was unexpected and your mum missed him so much.

Those meant to be present at a passing will be there and I feel you were meant to be there with your mum at the end.

I am shown an old black and white wedding photo and also see it being gently placed in the coffin with your mum. She wants you to know she is safe and they are together again and also reunited with other family members.

VERDICT

We thought we had lost mum a couple of times but she picked up again.

My dad’s name was Jim and Mum was aware of him before she passed.

My sister and her husband had just left when I told her Dad was waiting for her and to go to him as I felt she was hanging on for me.

She always took her black and white wedding picture with her each time she went to the hospital and I put it in her coffin.

Dad did pass unexpectedly five years before Mum.

I feel such comfort from knowing they are together where they belong.