My brother had his problems. Is he at rest now?

Dear June

I have always believed those we love go on to a better place and one day we will see them again.

Over the years, I have lost many friends and family members but my faith kept me going.

My brother died unexpectedly 19 years ago and I feel guilty I didn’t do more for him.

He was an alcoholic and although the family tried to help him, he made his own choices which eventually killed him. Is he now settled on the other side? Is he with our parents?

Margaret, Aberdeen

June Says

Having a strong faith and belief in the afterlife, knowing one day we will see those we lost, gives us the strength to cope with our loss and can somewhat ease our grief.

There are many people who have made wrong choices that may have, in some situations, cost them their lives.

It is heartbreaking to watch someone you love continue down a path you know isn’t in their best interests.

Unfortunately, there are many who refuse to listen or take advice, even from those they love.

Sadly, once they pass over to the spirit side, they have to take full responsibility for their actions and can see the hurt they have caused through their death.

Alcoholism affects many. I lost my 34-year-old nephew to it a few years ago.

I strongly sense an insecure character with your brother and feel he was of an extremely sensitive nature and did not cope well with the pressures life brings (depression?).

I feel he was very close to your parents and after their deaths he took a downward slide both physically and emotionally as he missed them so much.

I am aware of all three (mum, dad and your

VERDICT

brother) as they draw towards me and know they have retained that close bond.

Your brother feels settled and at peace with them (sadly, these emotional feelings were not familiar to him on the physical side) and your parents are very protective of him. They are not only all together physically in a family grave, but also on the spirit side for eternity, and one day you will be met and welcomed by their smiling faces.

My brother suffered from depression off and on over many years and when he couldn’t cope he would turn to alcohol.

After mum and dad died his life spiralled out of control with the drink.

His ashes were placed beside our parents at his request.

He never got over losing them and longed to be with them again, as they always looked after him and gave him the support he needed throughout his life.

I knew they would be waiting for him but your reply has brought such comfort to me as confirmation of this. Thank you so much.