Maggie Listens

Resident agony aunt Maggie Clayton

Dear Maggie

My parents are very active members in our church and I joined it when I was 18 years old and attend a youth group there which I really enjoy. I also like going to church on a Sunday morning.

But a few months ago I was at a party with my friend and I met up with a boy I used to be at school with and he asked me out on a date. We’ve been seeing each other regularly since then and last week he told me that he has fallen in love with me.

I was thrilled when he said that because I think there is something very real and true between us and I think it is a serious relationship. But there is only one problem – he doesn’t believe in God.

He knows my faith matters to me.

I don’t know what to do. Should I end this relationship now or just keep hoping that maybe over time he will understand that religion will always be a part of my life?

Maggie says

Your faith is important to you and it doesn’t sound like your boyfriend is trying to turn you away from that or influence against it. But it’s just not for him.

So why not just allow him to have his beliefs and you hold fast to yours? Religion can be a subject which causes real conflict for people – so try to avoid making it an issue if you can.

Continue going to church and seeing your church friends but don’t try coaxing your boyfriend to be a part of that.

When he realises that he’s not under pressure, he may even be willing to come along to some social functions with you. But take things slowly. Faith can’t be forced.

It’s part of who you are and it sounds like your boyfriend is comfortable with that.

Make the most of the things you both enjoy together and who knows what may happen in the future?

But for now it’s a time to get to know each other really well, to talk things over, to discover what is important to each of you in this relationship.

And I do hope it works out well for both of you.