Our daughter is putting her legal career on hold togo backpacking round India... and we’re worried

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to

Dear Maggie Our only daughter recently graduated and was fortunate enough to get a job with a large legal firm in Edinburgh.

She enjoys working there so my wife and I were stunned when she told us how much she regretted never taking “time out” to go travelling, so next year she plans to go backpacking in India, a country which has always fascinated her. Her boss has agreed to hold her job open for three months, which I think is very generous of him. Clearly they value her contribution.

My wife and I are worried, though. How safe will she be? How will we know if anything goes wrong? And what happens if she likes it there and decides not to come back? We just can’t understand why she is doing this. She has always been a very sensible girl and this is completely out of character.

Maggie says Perhaps that’s exactly why she wants to do it. Sometimes people who have always done the expected thing suddenly realise there are experiences they want to enjoy and it takes courage to make the decision to follow their dream.

Lots of students take time out to go backpacking round the world during their long holidays and perhaps your daughter regrets not taking the chance to visit India then.

So I suggest your wife and you talk this through with her and try to understand her reasons. India is a fascinating country and she wants the chance to explore it without any time pressures.

Explain your anxieties about the safety issue and ask her to keep in touch regularly by phone. Show a keen interest in the places she plans to visit and the things she wants to do.

Try not to make her feel guilty about taking time out for herself. She is an intelligent woman who is capable of organising her own travel, and if you give her your blessing she will enjoy the experience so much more than if you make her feel guilty.

Her employer clearly has faith in her and will be hoping she will come back to work. You and your wife should try the same approach – and do your utmost to help her as she plans this big adventure.

A positive approach from her mum and dad will mean that she can make the most of this time in India – and she will always appreciate that.