Maggie Listens

I got drunk and snogged my married boss at our work party. I feel ashamed about it

Resident agony aunt Maggie Clayton

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to

Dear Maggie

I started my first job as a French teacher in our local secondary school this year and I really enjoy my job. The staff at the school have all made me feel very welcome in the first few months.

But last week the teaching staff had our Christmas night out at a local restaurant and I’m afraid I drank too much, which is not something I often do, and the Head of the French department ordered a taxi for me and said he’d drop me off on the way to his house.

I’m still not sure quite how it started, but we started hugging and kissing and he told me how much he “fancied” me.

It all went a bit too far but when we arrived at my house I got out of the taxi.

Since then I’ve felt so ashamed and facing him at school has been difficult.

He tried talking to me about it last week but I brushed him off. I feel so embarrassed about it all. He’s married and I’m ashamed of what we did.

I’ve thought about applying for another job. What do you think I should do?

Maggie Says

Yes it’s regrettable what happened, but honestly it’s not as unusual as you might think.

Christmas nights out are renowned for people saying or doing things they later feel a bit embarrassed about.

It doesn’t mean you’re out of control – it just means you’ve made a mistake, you regret it, you’ve learned from it and hopefully it won’t happen again.

You could try having a quiet talk with him about it and perhaps that might help. Apologise for drinking too much and hopefully he will do the same and you can both let the matter rest.

Don’t forget that much of the blame lies at his door. He’s your immediate boss and he shouldn’t have acted as he did.

But we are all human and when alcohol and Christmas combine it can be a dodgy situation.

If you approach it calmly and honestly, then there’s a chance he will approach it in the same way and you can both lay the matter to rest.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.

I feel sure you will learn from this situation and be a bit more moderate in your drinking next time.

Good luck. I do hope that you have the courage to deal with this and then put it behind you and enjoy a happy Christmas.