Con artists know exactly what to say
Psychologist Dr Pauline Rennie-peyton says romance scams are so successful because scammers tell their victims what they want to hear.
“I don’t think it matters whether you meet online or in the local pub. People have a box that fits the person they want to be with,” she said.
“I think that people who take them for a ride are chameleons who find a way to fit into that box. And if they don’t fit the box, you will find a way to make them fit.
“The thing about online dating is that people are striving to meet their perfect person – and anyone can make themselves sound like the perfect person.
“Romance scams work because the relationship is always a secret. A common one is the scammer being in the secret service. Not telling anyone about the relationship is key, because outsiders would spot the warning signs it is a scam.
“And when people think they’ve met the man or woman of their dreams, they choose to ignore these signs.
“Scammers work by telling their victims what they want to hear. They tell them they’re beautiful, they listen, fish for information and then, later on, feed it back. For example, if a divorced woman says her ex-husband didn’t like her cooking and she never met his friends, the scammer would say: ‘I can’t wait for you to cook for me and meet my friends’.
“With social media, they can find out so much about you – from your hair colour to your favourite dinner – and they use these details to manipulate.
“Romance scams happen to men, just as much as women – and its often for larger amounts. From the single mum who needs help to fix her car so she can take her child to school to paying for flights for the eastern European woman they met online to come over then never appears...it happens all the time.
“The key to not becoming a victim is to look for the warning signs. If someone seems too good to be true, they probably are.”