Suddenly, after I lost my husband, all sorts of military personnel got in touch with me

After losing my husband, I changed my Facebook status to widowed and all of a sudden I was a very popular woman.

I was contacted by so many men, wanting to chat or know more about me. From captains to generals, there was a whole host of military personnel wanting to get in touch.

I was sceptical, so I Googled it – and that’s when I found out about romance scams. The fact I was retired and widowed made me a perfect target.

My research led me to realise there were plenty of places to report romance fraud – but nothing existed to warn women before it happened.

So, five years ago, I set up Scamhaters United, a forum where women could share their experiences of online dating fraud.

Between the website and social media channels, Scamhaters receives 7,000 hits a day from women around the globe who have either been contacted by scammers or duped out of money.

They share pictures, names and information about the scammers in the hope they can prevent other women from parting with cash.

It has taken over my life, but I can’t back down.

We have helped thousands of women, but it’s just a fraction of those affected.

So many get sucked in. They trust this man at the other end of the computer and, for them, it becomes reality.

I’ve heard of cases where people’s lives have been ruined.

These scammers work in teams and in shifts, so they’re there all the time – and invite women to sites like Google Hangouts so they can connect with lots of women at a time.

It’s like a full-time job for them.

It’s often a military person and usually starts off friendly with them calling you “babe” or “beautiful” or “my love”.

The scammers are clever and even go so far as to engage in webcam chats.

They spend weeks recording footage of someone then use it in a chat. They can pause it, make it jump to a point where the person is laughing, type when the person is typing, etc. It comes off as realistic. And all makes victims further believe the lie.

They get into your head and develop a relationship you think is real. But soon they will ask for money, whether for food or medical bills, or to pay for a ticket so they can come and see you – or paying to release a package.

Those are the telltale signs it’s a scam.

To help women, we need to educate them and raise awareness. It’s okay to talk to people online but, as soon as they ask for money, people need to realise it’s a scam and it’s time to walk away.

There needs to be more scepticism.

We’re so aware of other types of scams, like calls from the Microsoft engineer asking for bank details. We need to make sure romance fraud registers on the same level so the romance scammers can be stopped before any damage is done.

www.scamhaters united.com