Maggie Clayton on family life in lockdown

Margaret Clayton, mum of four, grandmother of eight and P.S.’S trusted agony aunt, shares her frustrations and fears as, day by day, her family adjusts to life in corona-enforced lockdown

In years to come when history students look back on 2020, I wonder if they will see a serious spike in divorce statistics?

Sadly, I suspect that by the time we come out of lockdown there are many marriages which will have frayed a bit at the edges.

Togetherness is all well and good but you can have too much of a good thing and seven weeks of social isolation can occasionally stretch your patience to the limit, even with regard to the people you love.

Their little habits which were once endearing can become infuriating from time to time. Talking during the lunchtime news is a case in point.

Welcome to my world. I have made a pot of soup with fresh vegetables, buttered some crusty bread and served this on a tray to my husband. All I ask in return is silence. Not possible. Instead I have to listen to his comments on what the newsreader has said.

“We can discuss this later,” I say tersely. Doesn’t work. Instead he has another vital point to add to his argument.

Now I know in the great scheme of things this is not serious but when he’s watching TV and I ask a question – about when he will get around to decorating the back bedroom, or clearing out the loft – there is a look of bewildered surprise on his face.

There is simply no chance that men and women, no matter how good the relationship is, look at domestic life in the same way.

For most of the time our differences complement one another. We bring our individual strengths to the partnership and we muddle through and enjoy the companionship of the person with whom we have chosen to share our life.

But during a pandemic that feeling of togetherness is tested like never before as the weeks and months stretch on.

Once you’ve done all the noble things such as cleaning the house, cooking meals from scratch, phoning family and friends to check they’re well, writing letters and tidying our cupboards, you just long for a bit of fun and escapism.

But how long is it going to be before we can meet friends in a restaurant for lunch, or have a girly shopping spree, or pop into a travel agent to book a holiday in the sun? These simple pleasures we once took for granted still seem like a distant memory.

So it is vital at this time that we dig deep and find what works for us.

One of my friends is learning to speak Italian so she can enjoy a glorious holiday in Rome when the pandemic is finally over. Another is compiling for her three grandchildren beautiful albums full of photographs of their mum when she was a little girl.

My neighbours are gardening and discovering new country walks. We are all trying our best, I think, to stay focused on what matters – getting through this pandemic safely and looking out for each other.

This time of great challenges will not be forgotten.

In years to come people will remember the changes the coronavirus pandemic inflicted on our world.

Much sadness and loss of life. Economic instability. But hopefully, too, a new spirit of courage and fortitude in the people who learned how to cherish what is important, let go of what is irrelevant and have fun on the journey.

Are you keeping a corona diary, like Maggie? Tell us about your experiences in lockdown. Email ps@sundaypost. com