A heartwarming short story by Tracy Baines
“Which one do you think? White or red?”
Hannah looked up from the magazine she was reading while stretched out on her sister’s bed.
“Definitely white. You’ll look like a faerie queen.”
Really? Chloe had been certain that the red looked better.
“I don’t want to look like a fairy.” Hannah flicked to another page without looking at Chloe.
“I don’t mean that kind of fairy. I was thinking more of Titania from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Floaty, ethereal.
“Besides, hardly anyone else will be wearing white. It will make you stand out.”
“But I’m not like you. I don’t want to stand out.”
Hannah looked up at her sister and grinned.
“Yes, you do. Secretly.”
Chloe held the white dress on her outstretched arm and looked at it again, frowning.
She did want to stand out, but only so that special someone would notice her.
Who that was she didn’t know, not yet, but she was never going to find anyone sitting at her computer all day, was she?
She hung the red dress back in the wardrobe and laid the white on the bed.
It was hot in Della’s garden and the barbecue was getting into full swing.
Della had made so much effort to hit just the right note with the decor. Bunting hung from the trees, and she had borrowed hay bales from a local farmer to give an authentic country flavour to the gathering.
Glass lanterns were dotted around the tables and walls for when the light faded. It all looked so beautiful – yet all Chloe wanted to do was hide in the kitchen.
Hannah had been right, hardly anyone else was wearing white, and she soon realised why – BBQ ribs and coronation chicken wraps were not the easiest of foods to eat.
Not that she was a messy eater, but she was cautious of other people’s enthusiastic eating. She’d avoided standing next to anyone that looked remotely a danger and thought herself safe . . .
“Someone knocked my arm. I’m so sorry,” Jake apologised.“oh, no, your beautiful dress!”
He reached for the napkins and was about to rub at the stain when, embarrassed, he handed them to Chloe.
“It was hardly your fault,” she said, feeling everyone’s attention on her. This wasn’t what she’d wanted at all. She was standing out, but for all the wrong reasons.
“It was an accident.”
Her face was burning and all she wanted to do was hide away. How her cheeks would have clashed with the red dress if she had worn it.
Jake whisked her into the kitchen to get some water to dilute the stain and they remained there for the rest of the afternoon, chatting quite easily to each other.
It wasn’t quite what she had planned, but it seemed to Chloe that she had met someone special, after all. He asked her out to dinner.
So a few days later, there she was again, getting ready to go out and wondering what to wear. One thing was certain, it would be anything but white.
“He likes you,” Hannah had said. “i know Jake. He’s painfully shy and it has given him the perfect opportunity to ask you out. He’d never pluck up courage otherwise.”
Chloe wasn’t so sure.
“White or red?” Jake was scrutinising the wine menu.
“You choose,” she said.“i’ ll happily have a little of whatever you’re drinking.”
He looked across at her, his blue eyes intense.
“But I want you to have what you would like. We don’t need to share a bottle. We can have a glass each.”
Encouraged, she made her choice and he ordered a light, fruity white, the perfect choice for their meal.
In fact, the entire evening was perfect and over far too soon.
And when he took her to her door and kissed her, it was as if her whole body had melted to nothing. She never wanted it to end.
Hannah slipped into her sister’s bedroom as soon as she heard the door close. Chloe flopped on to the bed. It felt as though she were floating on a cloud.
“I’m so glad I went, Hannah – and I’m so glad I didn’t wear white. I’ll never wear white again.”
He brought her flowers on their next date, neither red nor white but a huge bunch of sunflowers – her absolute favourite.
He knew instinctively what she liked. Or had he asked Hannah first?
It didn’t matter; if he had asked it proved he was thoughtful and wanted to get her what she liked, rather than guessing and making a mistake.
She would have done exactly the same in his shoes.
He liked the same books, enjoyed the same movies, the same music and bands. When he proposed it was the easiest decision she’d ever made in her life.
So here she was again, choosing a white dress when she had said she’d never wear white again.
It should have been the easiest choice in the world, but she was already beginning to feel the pressure of too many decisions.
“This one is divine,” her mum said, holding out a fluffy extravaganza. Chloe pulled a face.
“I want simple, Mum. That one’s more Hannah than me.”
The assistant patiently offered dress after dress and before long Chloe was exhausted.the dresses were heavy and she hated looking at herself over and over again and being disappointed.
The more she tried on, the worse she felt.
“We might as well look at the bridesmaids’ dresses, Chloe, while we’re here,” her mum offered with enthusiasm.
Chloe couldn’t bear it any longer. “I don’t want to. I’ve had enough!”
She loved him more in that moment than she had ever loved anyone in her life
She knew she sounded like a spoiled brat, but she couldn’t cope with one more choice.
The assistant looked at her sympathetically.
“Don’t worry, there’s no rush. It’s important to take your time. It’s such a big decision – one you’ll remember for the rest of your life.”
Chloe felt her heart drop to her knees. She knew the assistant was trying to reassure her, but she couldn’t have said anything worse.
The full weight of all that lay ahead dropped on to her shoulders like a boulder and she suddenly felt weary and weak.
Any confidence she had gained seem to slip away as they left the shop.
Chloe and Jake had already booked the church and Broadstoke Manor Hotel for after the ceremony.
Those choices had been so simple with Jake by her side, but now things grew ever more complicated.
The guest list got longer by the day as each side added to the numbers of who they wanted to invite and who had to be invited.
Chloe felt her stomach clench with each decision that had to be made – and remade. Would there ever be an end to it all?
Now the two of them arrived at Broadstoke Manor with her mum and dad to fine tune the details.
What would they like for the décor – red and gold, blue and white?
The flowers, the meals, the dessert, the cake, how much wine – red or white – or both?
Would they like champagne for their guests on arrival or Buck’s Fizz?
The manager was kind and efficient, making suggestions and guiding them through what was on offer, but Chloe was beginning to feel her head swim. There were too many voices, too many choices.
As they picked the day apart in depth, tears started to fall down Chloe’s face.
“I don’t want to get married,” she said quietly and blundered out into the garden, blinded by her tears.
She was so tired and confused. She found a bench and sat on it, trembling, afraid as to what to do next.
Someone followed her; she wasn’t sure who until Jake sat beside her.
She felt empty and shallow. How could she hurt him like this? How could she hurt her mum and dad – or his?
The confusion in her head was intolerable.
He took her hand and held it. His hands were warm and strong and she felt calmer, safer.
She waited for him to speak. He would be angry and hurt, wouldn’t he? And if he wasn’t, perhaps he was relieved that she’d spoken out.
Maybe he didn’t love her any more. She couldn’t blame him; she didn’t feel very lovable at that moment.
Her tears exhausted, she started to breathe more calmly, more in rhythm with Jake.
Eventually, she felt brave enough to look at him and when she did she knew in an instant that she loved him more at that moment than she had ever loved anyone in her entire life. She took a deep breath.
“I love you so much, Jake, I truly do, but I feel like I’m drowning in decisions.
“They all seem to be so important and so costly and I can’t bear to let anyone down. And . . .”
She felt words tumble out of her, a torrent of all the jumbled feelings that had been churning away inside.
He let her talk until she felt empty of words, empty of the struggle. “This is our day, our perfect day!” He just smiled.
“Close your eyes, Chloe, and imagine your perfect wedding day. What would it be like?”
She did as he said and felt a smile play on her lips as she began to imagine the excitement, the butterflies.
Hannah preening; her mother fussing; her father’s chest puffed out like a peacock.
“I’ll be walking down the aisle in my dress.”
She opened her eyes and smiled. “I can see it in my imagination, but I can’t tell you because it’s meant to be a surprise.”
He gave her hand an encouraging squeeze.“go on.”
“The bridesmaids will follow, wearing the palest of blue, the colour of the sky when I first met you. you’ll turn as I walk down the aisle and you’ll look at me and I’ll know you love me.” “After the ceremony?”
“We’ll be driven to the hotel. You’ll tell the driver to take the long route so we can savour the magical moment.”
She began to feel calmer, the day revealing itself in her imagination as she began to see the joy in it. “Who’ll be there?”
She kept her eyes closed and concentrated. For a moment the picture was blurred, but then she could see smiling faces, family and friends.
It was easy after that to imagine the meal and the wine and the cake, and as she described them tears fell again, but this time they were happy tears.
“I do want to marry you, Jake.” He pulled her close and she let her head fall against his chest. She could hear his strong, steady heartbeat. “I know you do.”
He tilted her head and leaned forward and kissed her, and all her anxieties seemed to disappear.
“Deep down you know exactly what you want, but you forget to listen to the one person who can help.you!
“You don’t need my opinion, or anyone else’s for that matter. You simply need your own.”
They sat for a long time in the garden, concentrating on the kind of wedding day they both wanted before they went back into the hotel.
She saw the concern in her parents’ faces and realised they were only trying to help, knowing that she was always afraid of making decisions.
But Jake was different. Jake didn’t want to make decisions for her; he wanted to help her make her own, and that was why she loved him.
She knew that her life would always be full of decisions, but that the most important decision had been made.
Saying yes to his proposal was easy; saying “I do” would be a breeze.