KATHRYN’S STORY With nowhere to go, it’s hard not having others to help escape a bad day
When lockdown began in March, like most people around the country, Kathryn Kelly saw her usual routine go out the window.
Baby and toddler groups stopped, she couldn’t visit friends or family, and she didn’t even have work to provide a distraction.
With her partner Chris, 30, then sent abroad for work, she was left alone with her daughter, Abbey, now 16 months. Luckily, her mum offered to move in for three weeks but Kathryn, 31, from Bathgate, West Lothian, admits it was still a struggle to keep her anxiety at bay.
“It was nice to have my mum live with us but I’m quite an anxious person, so having her pack up her life – not to mention leaving my dad on his own – made my anxiety go through the roof. It was quite an adjustment for everyone and I did feel quite guilty.
“I was so grateful for the help but, in a way, having her there made me feel like I wasn’t able to cope with Abbey on my own.
“She stayed for three weeks then left when Chris got back from Germany. Luckily, restrictions started to ease when he had to go away again for another 10 weeks, but the lack of routine was still really hard.
“Motherhood is quite isolating anyway but lockdown made it even more so. I went on maternity leave in June last year and I was due to go back to work
three days after lockdown started. So, I still haven’t made it back into the office.”
For a while Kathryn could take Abbey to classes and playgroups, which her daughter loved, but the return of lockdown brought to an end their sense of routine. “We were only able to go for three or four months before they were all closed for lockdown.
“When Chris works away, which is quite often in his job as a rope technician, I always try to make a plan for each day – meeting up with friends, walks in the park – to make sure we got out of the house. Then all of a sudden that was cut short.
“So I had to deal with the stress of keeping a one-year-old entertained in the house for up to 10 hours, every day. I tried everything but, naturally, she did get bored and agitated. Being able to go to the baby groups or see my friends was a lifeline for me, so it was difficult when there was no escape from a bad day.”
Kathryn sympathizes with other mums who are experiencing loneliness.
“It’s easy to feel lonely, even when you’re surrounded by people, especially when you are on maternity leave.
“You rely on the help of other people, so not having that support just adds to the stress and difficulties of being a new mum.
“Some days are better than others, obviously, but I can see how people would get really lonely.”