Mydaughterplanstotravel aroundbritainworkingfor acharity. Buti’mworried

Dear Maggie

This year my daughter, Wendy, graduated from university with a good degree in law. Within a few weeks she was offered a job with a legal company in Edinburgh. Her dad and I are so proud of what she has achieved. She works hard and is passionate about doing her very best for every client and getting the best results possible for them.

So you can imagine how shocked I was when she told me she plans to leave her job next year to work for a charity that offers legal support to disadvantaged people. It will mean she will be travelling around Britain and has decided to buy a small flat as her base.

I just worry the job will present difficulties and perhaps she is taking on more than she can cope with, but my husband says it’s time for me stop “mollycoddling” her. But surely it’s only natural that a mother worries about her child?

Maggie says

Yes, of course maternal anxiety is very real, no matter what age your “child”. But part of being a parent is to know when to let go. Wendy sounds a very balanced young woman who wants to make life better for people. Her advice and support will mean so much to her clients who are going through serious problems and I think you have to understand that she wants to commit herself fully to that.

So try not to put obstacles in her way. Instead, show an interest in her work. If she invites you to look at places where she might choose to buy a flat, go with her and offer advice, if asked.

This is a very important stage in your daughter’s life. If you take a positive approach you will win her respect. If you make a fuss and stand in her way, it may damage your relationship.

I do hope this works out for both of you.

Dear Maggie

My husband and I have been married for 12 years and every summer we go with our two children to holiday resorts around Britain. We always have a lovely time but I think it’s time we broaden our horizons and book a holiday abroad. I’d like to go to France, Spain or Italy but my husband says it would be too much hassle. I really want to give our children a foreign holiday next summer. How can I get him to change his mind?

Are you struggling in these uncertain times? Contact Maggie for advice by emailing ps@sundaypost. com

Maggie says

I think you should go into a travel agent, get some brochures and read through them. When you’ve found a place you think would be suitable for you and the family, talk to your husband some evening when the children are in bed.

Point out where you would fly from, what accommodation is available and keep it simple. If you are calm and confident and explain how much it would mean to you and the children, he may change his mind.

It’s fear of the unknown which is holding him back but perhaps when he realises that you will share the planning of the travel with him, he may relax a little bit.

Of course, there is the added complication of Covid restrictions but I hope 2021 is a year you will remember as the start of happy holidays abroad.