Gran-of-eight Maggie Clayton’s weekly diary
Dear Maggie
For the past year I have had my suspicions that my husband was cheating on me.
It was little things – he was out more often on his own. He was buying new clothes more frequently and any time his mobile phone rang he answered it in another room. He was wearing an after-shave I didn’t recognise. When I asked him what was going on, he said I was being ridiculous.
At Christmas I entertained family members at our house. At one point his phone rang and he went into another room to answer it and was gone for almost an hour.
I said nothing then, but the next day he finally admitted he was seeing someone and it was serious. She works beside him, is 10 years younger and unmarried. I’ve met her at office parties and she is attractive and bubbly. Who can blame him? Well I do, because I’ve been faithful to him all our married life.
I brought up our two children while he was working lots of overtime and I’ve put up with his bad moods when things didn’t go his way. I can’t understand why he wants to throw away everything we’ve worked for.
Our son and daughter will be devastated when I tell them we are separating. But I know I can’t forgive him.
Maggie says
Your husband has betrayed you and losing trust in someone you love is devastating. Only you can make the decision about whether you want to try to hold on to your marriage.
If you feel the relationship is finished, take your time and make plans slowly for the future. There is all the practical problems ahead – selling your home, finding another one.
This is a time to confide in friends and family whom you trust. Talk to them about how you feel. There will inevitably be days when you haven’t the emotional energy to cope with the sadness, but learn to lean on the people who are close to you.
You will get through it, Veronica. You are a caring woman and your family, no matter what their age, love you and need you. Take comfort in them and I hope that in the year ahead you find the peace and serenity you richly deserve.
Dear Maggie
My son and daughter-in-law have three children whom I love so much. But this year, as usual, they got so many toys this festive season that I found myself criticising their parents for spending so much money. It didn’t go down well. My daughter-in-law was very snippy with me and said life had changed since I was a young mother.
I know it has but do young parents need to spend so much money? After a few weeks the toys lie in the boxes and eventually my daughter-in-law takes a bag of stuff to the local charity shop. I think its ridiculous and I don’t regret saying so.
Maggie says
You are entitled to your opinion and, yes, I do agree with you that lots of children get far too much money spent on toys and games they see on TV ads, crave for a time and then get bored with them.
So by all means say what you feel – once. But after that let the parents make their own decisions.
And if the charity shops are benefiting, then at least some children in need will be getting a welcome gift of toys, books and games which they will appreciate.