Gran-of-eight Maggie Clayton’s weekly diary

Dear Maggie

I was a good sleeper until last year when I went back to work full-time. For some reason I then started waking up about 3am thinking about things and, no matter how tired I was, couldn’t get back to sleep.

I tossed and turned for about an hour and my husband got tetchy about his sleep being disturbed, so I got up and made a cup of tea and read a book. The lack of sleep finally got to me and I went to the doctor and got a prescription for sleeping pills. They are helping but I don’t want to get addicted to them. Is there anything I can do to help me get a calm, normal night’s sleep?

Maggie says

Insomnia is one of the most draining challenges to cope with. I know this because I’ve suffered from it myself. Sleeping pills help in the short term but they do have side effects and you’re right not to want to become dependant on them.

Try not to eat too much in the late evening and, if it’s a dry, cold night, a brisk walk is a good way of working off energy and sorting out anything that is troubling you. A bath before bedtime also helps you relax.

For women, hormonal changes can affect our sleeping pattern. Medical problems such as arthritis and angina can trigger insomnia, as do emotional issues such as anger, worry and grief.

So perhaps it would be worth discussing this with your doctor.

Sleep affects our mood, our long-term health and energy levels. During good, restorative sleep we give our body and mind a chance to restore and renew itself.

The key is to nip a niggling sleep issue in the bud before it becomes a serious problem.

I do hope this helps.

Dear Maggie

My son has a new girlfriend whom he has been dating for about six months. The first time I met her I thought she was everything he had been looking for in a partner. She is attractive, intelligent, has a good sense of humour and they seem very well suited.

But recently I’ve seen another side to her. She is a very controlling person. She decides what is in her best interest and she talks my son into doing what she wants. He is spending a lot of money taking her to the upmarket restaurants she likes. He buys her expensive presents. She has convinced him to change his car for a newer model. The last time they were round for dinner, she was saying how much she wants to visit America and would love a holiday there with him next year. I worry he might get himself into debt just to give her everything she wants.

Are you struggling in these uncertain times? Contact Maggie for advice by emailing ps@sundaypost. com

Maggie says

I know these issues of getting what she wants must be troubling you, but I would advise you not to say too much about it at this stage to your son.

Let him make his own decisions about what he wants from the relationship. Clearly he wants to please her and hopefully he will not get into debt doing so.

However, if you interfere it could create problems for your relationship with your son now and in the future. So be pleasant and friendly when you meet and let your son come to his own conclusion about whether this girl is right for him or not.

He will appreciate that much more. I do hope it works out well.