Whisper it... The secret to parenting might just be keeping mum

Ihave three or four parenting manuals that have been collecting dust on my book shelf since my son was born. The truth is I have been winging it since I first became a mum seven and a bit years ago. Most days I think I’m doing a pretty good job but there are others when I feel I am doing everything wrong. Those are usually the days I have raised my voice in exasperation.

My own mum, who was a primary school teacher for 30 years, always says “they’re not all matches in a box” and I’m inclined to agree that what works for one child may not necessarily work for yours.

But, reading Kate Silverton’s new book on parenting has definitely got me nodding in agreement. Kate has recently qualified as a children’s counsellor and has put what she has learned from her own experience as a mum, as well as solid facts from scientific studies, into a new guide for parents.

She explains (on pages 6&7) that when children are acting out it’s not as simple as them being naughty, but because their brains are not yet mature enough to deal rationally with feelings of anxiety or sadness.

So, instead of sending them off to their rooms or the naughty step, we should react with kindness and understanding. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. I still find life confusing as hell so what hope does a five-year-old have?

With a child’s mental health epidemic happening in Scotland right now, made even worse by lockdown, maybe it’s time we started talking to our little ones more and shouting less. At least I intend to try.