Gran-of-eight Maggie Clayton’s advice column
Dear Maggie
My husband and I have two children – a daughter aged eight and a six-year-old son.
During the lockdown I found it hard-going when my husband was on nightshift, as it was difficult to keep them quiet to let him sleep.
Now that the kids are back at school, I can get back to my routine of cleaning, shopping, cooking and catching up with my friends.
Last week he brought home a pile of brochures for holiday spots and he said he’d spotted some good deals at our favourite Spanish resort. Since then he has been hassling me to make a decision so he can book our summer holiday in July. I know it would be lovely to have that to look forward to, but I’m still a bit anxious about traveling abroad during Covid; flying in a packed airplane, staying in a busy hotel, being in close contact with families on a Spanish beach.
It has caused rows between us as I can’t commit to his ideas and he thinks I’m being difficult. I’d much rather wait and see how things turn out – just in case we’re forced to cancel and lose the money.
I feel like I’m being bullied.
Maggie says
Coming out of lockdown is good news for everyone, but it does present us with choices that we haven’t had to make for many months.
Some are ready and willing to go shopping, eat out in restaurants, meet friends, book holidays and travel. But others are a bit hesitant about what is safe and what isn’t.
Yes, it’s a lovely idea to book a holiday and have something to look forward to - but I can understand your fears about what could happen if there is a second wave of the pandemic.
Life hasn’t been “normal” for many months now, so what is the new normal going to look like?
For now, we all have to make our personal decisions about what we feel comfortable about and, hopefully, when Covid is on the wane, there will still be time to plan a family summer holiday together.
Whether its at the seaside in Britain or the Spanish resort which you all enjoy – I hope you have a lovely time.
Dear Maggie
I have started working as a secretary in the office of a large engineering company and I really enjoy the work.
We are back in the office and The staff have all been friendly but one is just too friendly. He keeps hovering around my desk, telling me jokes, talking about what was on TV last night, making chit chat. Last week he asked if I’d like to go on a drive with him. I know he means well but I’m just not interested.
I don’t want to be mean but how can I say “no” without hurting his feelings?
Maggie says
Do you think you would want a friendship with him but not a close relationship? If so, why not go out with him for a meal somewhere you can both talk freely and see how it goes?
Keep the conversation light, don’t lead him on or give him false hopes.
If you both get on well together – the up side is you have a new friend and that’s a bonus. If he wants more than that and you don’t –- then you know that you have been honest from the start.