We’ re both working from home but my husband won’ t do his fair share of household tasks

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to

Dear Maggie

Because of the pandemic my husband and I have been working from home. We are both civil servants and have our separate rooms.

We go in there every morning to connect with our bosses, get the work for the day planned and then get on with it. We have a coffee together about 10am, lunch at midday, take turns of picking up our son and daughter from school and then I make dinner.

At first it worked really well and we both enjoyed it but in the past few months that has changed.

My husband expects me to shop, cook, do the housework, the ironing, tidy the garden, supervise the children’s homework, and when he isn’t working in his office he is slumped in front of the TV as if he’s had a stressful day.

At first I laughed about it, but I’m tired of his attitude.

We’ve had a few rows but nothing has changed. He just spends more time watching TV. He joins us for meals, reads the children a bedtime story and that’s his day.

I’m sick and tired of it.

Maggie says

As social beings we are accustomed to having a divide between where we work and earn a living and where we live, share family time and relax.

As women we adapt to changing circumstances and for many of us it has been easier to get accustomed to sitting in front of a computer in our own home rather than travelling to work.

But some men find it harder to cope with a change of routine and it sounds as if this is a problem for your husband.

I suggest you arrange for someone to baby-sit your kids then book a table at a restaurant for you and your husband.

Try to get your husband to relax and talk about how he is feeling. Because of the challenges of this pandemic, many people are suffering from depression and anxiety.

Listen to what he says about how he feels. If he is anxious, being able to talk about it and share might help.

Take things gently and hopefully he will get his confidence back.

Dear Maggie

Last week I booked a holiday for my wife and I in Spain.

It’s our ruby wedding anniversary this year and we haven’t been able to celebrate it because of Covid. So I really thought she’d be pleased with a sunshine holiday. However, when I announced my “surprise” she said that it’s too soon to travel because of Covid. I was flabbergasted at her reaction. Should I cancel the holiday or not?

Are you struggling in these uncertain times? Contact Maggie for advice by emailing ps@sundaypost. com

Maggie says

I can understand you are hurt at your wife’s response to your idea but try to understand that we are all a bit anxious about what’s the best thing to do right now to make sure we stay safe and healthy.

So give your wife a little time and perhaps as we all take baby steps backs to normality, she will be able to look forward to this holiday.

If she is still reluctant, I suggest respecting her wishes though I am not sure how this leaves you in terms of a refund.

Good luck. I hope it works out for you and that you both enjoy some sunshine in Spain.