The Sunday Post (Inverness)

You know you are getting old when ...

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YOU don’t understand­erstatand “retro style” can mean thingsgs ffrom the 1970s. YOU realise thatat ooldld people were once young people.eop ple. YOU can’t rememberem­mber when you started saying “GoGoogleoo­gle it” instead of “look up in a dictionary.”di ctionary.” YOU are surprisede­d to be regarded as trendyendd­y when referring to LP. YOU clearly rememberme ember where you were e when you heardrd tthe of the deaths of JFJFK/FK/ Elvis/Princess Di. YOU rememberer chocolate bars s that were much h bigger than nowadays. And many, many more! BLACK pudding g for breakfast meameans ans antacids for lunch.nch h. YOU discover whwhat hat chilblains are. YOU think of somethingo­m mething edible when yououu hear the word “Spam”. YOU can rememberm mber when it was OKK tto say “fat” instead off cclinicall­y obese. YOU’RE not suree iif “clinically obese”see” or “fat” will get yououu into trouble with the e politicall­y correctecc­t Stasi. that the yoyoungero­u ones in your

office have e never heard of YOU know thatt ssome of Max BygraBygra­ves.av them will have to o Google

YOU thinkk aany more is “Stasi”.

definitely twtwo words. YOU can remembermb­erm when it

n’tcYOU drinking cancan’t coffeeo remembergi­ves you if was rare to seee cclinicall­y obese people.

cancer oor not drinking coffee YOU aren’t suree who to ask gives yoyouou cancer. Or, what an Instagramg­ra am indeed, if it’s both. is, but suspect yoyouou wouldn’t PEOPLEE ccan read your understand handw handwritin­g.writ the answer anyway.yw way.

YOU lolookook forward (from YOU can’t see why 3pm) tto getting home and anyone would need a TV getting g yyour goonie on. that is five feet wide.

YOU ththinkhin every footballer NO one told yououu Top Of in the e ggame on TV The Pops wasn’t’t on TV wo wouldn’tou have been any more. to tough enough to YOU stop beingg amazed p play in your day. YOU’RE envious of people who still have coal fires. YOU only ever see some family members at funerals. YOU hear that someone is having a baby and your first thought is: “I’ll knit something.” YOU miss the exhilarati­on of stepping off buses before they’d stopped. YOU aren’t sure what LOL means. YOU remember Clark’s tan sandals... ...AND having a compass in the heel of your shoe was the best thing ever. YOU keep the oven door open to “get the benefit of the heat” when you’ve finished using it.

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