A little over a year ago, my son got divorced and moved to a flat about three miles away. When he was married and lived half an hour away, I saw him regularly, often with his son. I now see his ex-wife and my grandson more than I do him. In fact, the la

Why is my son avoiding me? We used to be so close – I now see his ex-wife more than him

Dear Maggie Maggie says

I can understand how hurt and puzzled you must be feeling because of your son’s change of behaviour.

It must be very distressing. Perhaps he is hurting because his marriage is over. Perhaps he misses his son.

Perhaps like many men faced with emotional difficulties, he simply doesn’t know what to do about it. His wife seems to be coping better, but then women often do.

We are also more inclined to talk about our feelings and get strength from sharing our problems with the people closest to us.

As his mum, you want him to be able to confide in you and allow you to share his burden. In time, he may be able to do so, but for now, he just can’t.

He isn’t ready to talk – perhaps he feels it would be disloyal to his ex-wife. I think you’ve done a remarkable job in being there for him, your former daughter-in-law and your grandson.

Clearly, your family mean the world to you – and they need you as well. For the moment, try to hold things together, stay close to all of them.

Your grandson needs the stability of being able to come to visit his granny as he always did. Hopefully, in time your son will be able to talk to you about how he’s feeling.

You had a close relationship and I don’t think he wants to throw that away.

Stay strong and loving and I hope with all my heart that the day will come when your son feels able to talk to you and confide in you as he once did. He’s just not ready yet.