My husband goes out every night trying to relive his youth. How do I save our marriage?

My husband and I were in our teens when we got married and we had two of our four children before I was 20. Now we have four in total, and at 31 I’m feeling old, whereas he seems to have reverted back to his teenage years. Our marriage has run out of ste

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum- of- four, grandmother- of- eight and dear friend to many, Margaret’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to with your worries

You are both at a crossroads in your relationship and the choices you make now are really important. Like most mums you’re carrying the daily burden of looking after four children, running a home, cooking and cleaning. By the end of the day you’re exhausted. Who wouldn’t be? The last thing you probably feel like is going out socialising, but you need to find space and time to talk this issue out clearly with your husband and tell him honestly how you feel. Men can often switch off and simply not notice what’s happening around them.

Find a reliable babysitter. Tell your husband you’ve booked a restaurant for dinner. Keep the conversation light and pleasant. But tell him gently how you’re feeling – a bit taken for granted, a bit low in energy.

Ask him how he’s feeling. Explain that you’d really appreciate a bit more help with the children. Could he perhaps get more involved in the evening and do things with them? Perhaps you could work out a plan where he helps put the kids to bed, does the bath and bedtime story routine a couple of nights a week so you can have an hour to yourself to chill out and relax.

Perhaps you could arrange with someone in the family to babysit a couple of nights every month so you could go out together for a meal?

Don’t nag or play the blame game. Just try to get him to understand you want this relationship to work for both of you.

While your children are young you need his input and he needs to be more involved.