MY WEEK BY FRANCIS GAY

The bluest of skies,

The warmest of days, Just little things,

Our spirits raise.

A stream making music, As it gurgles along,

And as ever at dusk, The blackbird’s sweet song.

parents are always excited about their children’s first words.

I don’t know whether Dan’s son said “Mummy” or “Daddy” first, but his third word was Sissy (for sister). Then…silence.

Aged four and with a diagnosis of autism, they wondered if he would ever say another word. Then, in the midst of an otherwise ordinary play session, the little lad stared at Dan for a moment. Then he said “Hug”. Then he wrapped his arms around his father’s neck.

Rarely has a three-letter word meant so much to anyone. The fact that he said it, combined with the proof that he understood it, meant so much to his parents and their hopes for his future.

“How did you feel?” I asked Dan.

“I cried for 15 solid minutes,” he told me, “from happiness. Of course, that was after we stopped hugging!”

Home schooling has been one of the most difficult parts of everyone staying at home. Some parents have ignored it, some have really taken to it. Maureen actually turned her old box room into a miniature classroom on the premise it helped to actually go to school. She used her phone camera to give me a virtual tour. There were number books, literacy sheets, her laptop, water bottles…and, on the wall, a poster titled Ninety-nine Things To Say To Make Someone’s Day! I asked if that had already been there. “No,” Maureen said, “they actually have one of these in school, and I thought it was too important to miss out, so I ordered one.” She gave me a sheepish smile. “And I read it while they are figuring out answers.” How to be nice and get along with people… imagine if we taught that like we teach maths!

There has been a trend recently for creating “avatars” on social media. They are cartoon-like characters you can design, in lots of different ways, to represent you online. Lorna (which isn’t her real name) made one. It looks beautiful, full of energy and fun.

Lorna is, without a doubt, one of the most delightful people I know – but she has a distinctive facial feature that is absent in her avatar. Now, it might be that the avatar program doesn’t have that feature, but it’s also possible that Lorna’s creation is closer to how she sees herself.

We never see ourselves as others do. How could we? We are looking from the inside where the real person lives! From the outside, people might see a completely differently person.

We see ourselves differently from other people but if we are ever tempted to judge people by their appearance, we ought to remember we are only seeing their flesh and blood avatar, not the real person inside.

Ian stopped by the garden wall.

He told me I was using the wrong sort of mower for the grass. He told me I’d missed a bit. He told me I should mow faster and work off the extra weight I had put on.

I smiled indulgently – until that last comment! On his way back from the shop, he slowed and leaned against the wall, not looking at me. A little offended, I thought about keeping mowing. Instead, I leaned on the wall, and he told me how heavy his steps were since “she” wasn’t here any more. People present themselves to the world in different ways, many of which are unpleasant, some of which are defences against the pain of their life. Who am I to decide which is which? I can only decide how I respond.

I could have made Ian’s steps heavier by taking offense. I’m glad I didn’t.