Joanna and her stepmother Ellen have had their fair share of relationship issues. Rob does the shopping for his family, so he knows most of the supermarket cashiers to chat to.

It started well, went off course, but, thankfully, has been much better for a while now. I asked Joanna what her first impression of her step-mother had been. Without hesitation she recalled a time, twenty years before, when Joanna had come into her bedroom with a jigsaw, then lay down beside her and chatted while they worked it out together. “It was a lovely time!” she said. Ellen had plenty of memories. Unfortunately, she couldn’t remember that time or that jigsaw but it had made a big impression on Joanna. As grown-ups, we try really hard and put a lot of work into our relationships. But that isn’t always what’s needed. Sometimes, it is in the little kindnesses, the spontaneous moments when someone does something they don’t have to, that real love is offered and received.

Fifty years after he left, Hugh decided to revisit the house that had been his first home. He had no one to guide him and could only remember roughly where it had been. To his surprise, his feet knew the way!

“I stood across the road, acting casual and not like I was casing the joint,” he told me, laughing. “I was expecting some sort of emotional connection, but it wasn’t there. It was pretty much as I remembered – but it wasn’t speaking to me. Then, on a crazy notion, I sat on the kerb, so I was the same height I had been when I was five. And there it was. Home!” “Ahh, it was all in the perspective,” I suggested. “That’s why we shouldn’t judge another person’s point of view until we have stood in their shoes.”

“Or their t-bar sandals as they would have been,” said Hugh

Switch off your TV for awhile,

Rise up from your chair, Chuck on some extra layers,

And relish some fresh air. Stepping out on winter days,

Will pass the time of day, The mind will be uplifted, And healthwise bound to pay.

He’s also a positive guy. If he only has a minute to make an impression of someone’s day he prefers it to be an uplifting one. But, this day... Carol-anne is always pleasant and professional. She lets the customers do most of the talking while being friendly. They’ve talked often, but he doesn’t know much about her. This day, when she asked how he was, he sighed. “Things are getting a bit on top of me today.” Carole-anne asked what was up, then she told him her own worries, worries about her parents, how her children were coping with everything.. Being positive is a good thing, but it can be a barrier for people who don’t experience the world that way. Sometimes things not being wonderful is what lets them in!