Gran-of-eight Maggie Clayton’s weekly diary
My family want to celebrate our ruby wedding abroad but I don’ t. a mi being selfish?
Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to
Dear Maggie
In July this year my husband and I celebrate our ruby wedding anniversary and the plan was our son and daughter and their partners and our five grandchildren would have a holiday in Italy, Spain or Greece. We intended to rent a villa with a garden and a pool for the children and I was looking forward to it so much…until the Covid pandemic changed everything.
I don’t really want to risk flying and sitting in a crowded airport, and then there’s the new problem of having to self-isolate in a hotel for 10 days when you come home.
My husband is up for it and so are our children and grandchildren. So I’m left feeling like an outsider but I know I’d be worried that it could all go wrong. I’d much rather go for the safety of having a holiday in Britain this summer.
Am I being selfish over this?
Maggie says
No, you are not being selfish – you are simply being honest. Lots of people will be feeling just as you do. The unpredictability of this virus means we really don’t know how things are going to go in the months ahead. By summer it may be under control, but there’s no guarantee. This is your ruby wedding and it’s important to enjoy time together and celebrate 40 years of marriage with the people you love.
So, just be honest with the family and try to reach a compromise. There are lots of lovely staycations in the UK so pick up some brochures from the travel agent, and hopefully there will be a villa or apartments in Cornwall, Devon, Wales or the Scottish Highlands with long sandy beaches for the children and beautiful scenery to enjoy. This year more than ever it is “togetherness” that matters. We’ve all been under pressure for months now. Lockdown isn’t easy to cope with and I do hope your family will understand that travelling abroad this summer doesn’t appeal to you. Congratulations on reaching your ruby wedding. I hope that with your husband and family you have a lovely holiday together – making memories in the sunshine.
Dear Maggie
I enjoy my job as a secretary in a lawyer’s office – well I did until six months ago when a new girl started and for some reason she took a dislike to me. I heard gossip on the grapevine about the clothes I wear/ the things I say/ and the way the boss shows me favouritism. None of it is true.
I try to ignore it but some days I feel I can’t take it any more. I don’t want to leave my job – but what can I do to change her opinion of me?
Are you struggling in these uncertain times? Contact Maggie for advice by emailing ps@sundaypost. com
Maggie says
Why not invite her out for lunch and just ask her what you’ve done that is making her treat you this way? Let her try to explain and listen quietly without interrupting. She may be jealous of your position at work and insecure in herself.
If you show her that you are confident and capable but not willing to be treated this way, hopefully she will have the sense to stop spreading gossip about you.
Good luck. I do hope your colleague has the good sense to realise you’re not a pushover.