Gran-of-eight Maggie Clayton’s weekly diary

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to

Dear Maggie

I run my own business – a small but successful craft shop where I sell a range of products created by talented artists, potters and seamstresses. I’ve spent lockdown sourcing new materials and holding Zoom meetings with people who are creating beautiful items of jewellery, or painting or sewing at home. I hope that before too long we’ll be able to open up again to exhibit and sell their work. But I just want to say that until this pandemic I did not realise how close I could come to depression.

I have worried about the health of family and friends. I’ve felt isolated, and anxious about whether my business would survive. I’ve had problems sleeping at night. Last week I finally gave in and made an appointment with my GP. He diagnosed depression and gave me a prescription for pills to help me sleep.

I can’t explain how ashamed I feel about being depressed. I’ve always thought of myself as a strong and resilient person. Have I lost myself completely – and who have I become?

Maggie says

Your touching letter sums up how many people are feeling. Our routines have been cast aside. We are anxious about work,

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com family, friends, finances and all the little things we once took for granted, whether it was meeting a pal for lunch and a blether, going to the cinema, or just shopping without a mask.

But spring is coming and hopefully brighter days lie ahead. Pamper yourself a little bit – whether it’s planning a holiday, or deciding to renovate the house or ordering new plants. Small, simple things lift our spirits and give us hope.

I do hope you feel stronger and happier before too long.

Dear Maggie

I have just met a man who ticks all the boxes when it comes to finding the perfect partner.

He is kind and thoughtful with a great sense of humour. For the past few months we have talked about everything under the sun. We are both astonished at how much we have in common. Apart from one thing. Religion. He is a Catholic and I have been brought up Protestant.

My dad is very involved in our church. I don’t know how he would feel if I told him I’d gone along to services at my boyfriend’s church and was made to feel very welcome.

I’ve never thought a religious divide mattered, but this relationship is important and I don’t know how to handle this.

Maggie says

Clearly you have met someone whom you care about deeply and it sounds as if he feels the same way about you. That’s the important thing to hold on to.

So be open and honest with your dad and tell him how you feel. Suggest that you bring your boyfriend round for dinner and hopefully, when they get to know each other, differences about faith and which church you attend will cease to matter. Religious bigotry is an ugly emotion. Don’t give it house room. I do hope that when your dad and boyfriend meet that they get on well together and that you can relax and enjoy your relationship without any worries.