You don’t have to spend millions to get married in style (but a free bar helps)

My lovely niece is getting married later in the summer and I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it is to finally have such a joyful family event to look forward to.

I’m crossing my fingers tightly as I type this (which is actually quite tricky) but hopefully the pandemic will be a fading memory and the fear of any looming lockdown measures will be gone as she walks down the aisle on the arm of my beaming big brother.

And I’m sure there are many other families around Scotland feeling the same way about longdelayed weddings, now at last, firmly in the diary. I can understand then why there might be a tendency to go a bit over the top with the planned nuptials; a desire to just go for it and to hell with the cost.

I can only assume that was the thinking behind the recent wedding of Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz, the daughter of an American billionaire. The clue, I guess, is in the word “billionaire”.

For those who don’t know, or who have been hiding in a cupboard for a while, Brooklyn Beckham is the eldest child of Spice Girl turned fashion designer Victoria Beckham and former footballer David Beckham.

Money really was not an issue at this do. It cost two and a half million pounds and the bride wore a custom-made Valentino gown, with a note from her mum sewn into it. Something along the lines of “Do not spill anything on this frock, it cost a fortune!” perhaps?

David Beckham reportedly cried during his speech. And I don’t mean to be cynical, again, but I think my dad would have shed a tear too thinking about the cost of the shindig.

It was all just a bit over the top though, wasn’t it? Showing us mere mortals how the 1% live and lavish their money.

It has been, ahem, a few years since I tied the knot with the current

Mr Dougall. It’s a starter marriage that seems to have stood the test of time.

Looking back, it really was quite a modest affair. There were no flocks of doves or horse-drawn carriages, and my mum certainly wasn’t wearing a priceless necklace like Brooklyn’s mum. Or if she was, she certainly didn’t tell me.

I bought “the dress” in a sale a fortnight before the big day for the princely sum of 60 quid, and the shoes had been kicking around in the bottom of my wardrobe for some time.

I didn’t bother getting a professional in to do my hair and make-up, which, looking at the photographs, I can now see was a major mistake. What was I thinking? It appeared as if a child had done my face, having just pulled me through a hedge backwards.

There was no cake and no official photographer and me and my dad hailed a taxi to get the venue. It all sounds a bit cheap, doesn’t it?

But it was a magic day. And so moved was one of our guests by the occasion, that she stood up to make an impromptu speech. But not to congratulate us on our newly married status, but the quantity of the free booze. Maybe that’s why everyone had such a great time.

Anyway, ahead of my niece’s wedding we have the hen do to look forward to. I jokingly suggested it should involve a parachute jump. Don’t be silly, said the chief bridesmaid, we’re going to go swimming with sharks at Deep Sea World and dress up the bride-to-be as a mermaid.

In fact, she went further, suggesting that maybe we could just roll it all into one and get them hitched there too. Perfect, I replied I won’t have to wrestle with the “hat” issue and we won’t need to bother with any catering. Well, not for the sharks at least.