I miss my husband so much tha tit physically hurts

Dear June

YOUR replies each week give me a lot of comfort but a reply to my letter would mean the world.

My husband passed away last year and I am finding it really hard as I miss him so much that it physically hurts.

We’d recently retired to enable us to spend more time together and now I feel lost and lonely, with too much time on my hands.

Our only son lives in America with his family and they have invited me to live with them.

Anne, Livingston.

June Says

It is a natural part of grief after the loss of a partner to feel lost and lonely.

Sharing a life and making plans with another over many years can leave you feeling quite disorientated for some time after they have gone.

Many who have lost their partners try to shelter from the emotional pain of grief by moving away so as not to be surrounded and reminded of their loss by the many memories in the family home.

Our grief is not caused by what we are surrounded by, but rather the loss of connection from within due to the absence of someone we held dear.

Grief has to run its course, no matter where we are, but it can be a less painful experience if we’re surrounded by those we love, especially children, as we seem to find inner strength in order to alleviate their loss and grief and therefore healing occurs much faster.

I am very aware of your husband and sense he is never far from you.

I sense pain in the legs and chest area and feel he passed over quickly, without warning.

I’m shown a beautiful ocean view and get the sense of Portugal?

I am also aware that his

send-off was a simple one with no fuss and only those closest to you in attendance.

“Bess” is being called and a great sense of calm and peace descends upon me.

March holds some significance as a memory.

Your husband is settling well on spirit side and knows you will settle down under the love and care of your son – I get the impression they were very alike and had a close father and son relationship.

Take a day at a time and know that, wherever you go, he will always be with you.

VERDICT

The cause of his death was a blood clot that travelled from his leg to his heart.

His passing at home was quick.

His funeral was small and personal with only family and a few close friends.

Portugal was a favourite holiday destination for us and we travelled there many times to the same resort by the beach.

Bess was our late cocker spaniel who we both adored. We were married in March. Our son is very much like his dad and I know he misses him too and that his grief is also painful.