Spotless made for messy viewing

Spotless (ITV)

ITV closed down for an hour yesterday morning to encourage viewers to go out and exercise, but oh how we wish they’d switched off last Saturday evening instead.

A blank screen would have been more entertaining than Spotless, the new game show which looks like it was dreamed up by a class of hyperactive seven-year-olds.

The aim of the game is for couples to make their way through an assault course and try to not get covered in paint, which is being squirted at them from all directions. The couple covered in the least amount of paint by the end are the winners. That’s it. Saturday night telly’s been on the slide for years, but did we ever think we’d reach the point where we’re literally being asked to watch paint dry?

I can only imagine ITV bosses didn’t realise what they were getting – maybe a big splotch of said paint covered half the title on the script and they thought they were getting BBC hit, Pointless, in some sort of Saturday night transfer.

It was billed as a one-off but God loves a trier and maybe that’s why ITV repeated it on Monday night, just in case you were fortunate enough to miss it the first time round.

When grown adults sliding around in puddles of paint is deemed worthy of The X Factor treatment of slow motion video and emotive soundtrack, it’s time to reach for the remote control.

Keep this up, ITV, and you won’t need to shut down your programming to make us stop watching!

Nashville (SKY LIVING)

IT’S glossy, trashy and the soap-like storylines move too fast, but this drama set in the world of country music is also highly addictive.

So it was a welcome return for the fourth series – made even better with a cameo from Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler.