Life feels like it’s over since my daughter passed

Dear June

I FEEL my life is over.

I have become a different person since the loss of my nine-year-old daughter. She had cystic fibrosis and developed tumours in her lungs. We all knew her life would be shortened but we weren’t ready to let her go so soon. She was my reason to get up in the morning as she required constant care. I have shut my family out and I’m finding it hard without her. I need to know she is OK as my heart is in pieces.

Maureen, Kelty.

June Says

Most of us undergo changes in character and personality as we get older.

These are dependent on the experiences we come through.

We start to put things into perspective and, over time, learn what’s really important in our lives.

Most people gain a gradual understanding of this but yours was instant after your loss, which has knocked you off your feet emotionally and it will take time for you to once again find a balance in your life.

As I open up to what’s around me I am shown lots of pink balloons floating up into a blue sky and have the sensation of feeling light and free.

A strong smell of lilies is also present.

I am aware of your daughter, who is accompanied by a tall, older male.

Both emanate such a strong love towards you and draw close in an effort to wipe away your tears.

They show me a room full of white furniture with pink and white curtains and matching bedspread where you sit alone for many hours.

You check the cupboards and drawers to ensure things remain untouched.

I sense this is your daughter’s room.

You are a mother torn apart through grief who is fighting to keep her daughter’s memory alive by holding close the material things she left behind, untouched, as if waiting for her return.

You will gain strength in time to eventually step away from these material possessions.

Your daughter will always be a part of you.

She will live in your heart and be kept very much alive within your special memories until you are brought together once more on spirit side.

VERDICT

The first birthday after her death was acknowledged by family and friends as we all let go of our pink helium-filled balloons into the blue sky.

I regularly place white lilies on her grave where I always tell her she is now light and free to soar on the wind.

My father would be the one with her as he loved her so much but died a few years before her.

I asked him to look after her when she passed.

I do sit in her room and look around at her things as that’s where I feel closest to her.

Her room has white furniture and pink and white duvet and curtains.