Good for you, Adele . . . All young mums need a wee bit of ‘me’ time
SINGER Adele is the woman who has it all. A glittering career, 10 Grammy Awards, an estimated £65 million fortune, a loving partner and a beautiful four-year-old son.
But last week she revealed that, like hundreds of other women, she had suffered postnatal depression after Angelo’s birth. It has made her scared of having a second child, possibly going through the same agony. Who can blame her? “I had really bad post-partum depression and it frightened me. I felt very inadequate and worried that I wasn’t doing a good job,” admitted the singer.
Adele didn’t want to take antidepressants although her partner, Simon Konecki, urged her to seek medical advice. Instead she sought help from friends experiencing similar problems and decided to give herself one afternoon a week off without the baby.
Just having a little breathing space did the trick. Her strength returned and she was able to cope with life again.
Of course, there are people who scoff at the idea of depression as if it is a form of self-indulgence and Adele wasn’t exempt from such cruel criticism.
The 28-year-old megastar said: “The reaction of a friend when I told her about my plan to have a day to myself was: ‘Really? Doesn’t that make you feel bad?’
“I do. But not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.” Good for her. Unless you’ve gone through depression and know how it feels it’s impossible to understand the fear, panic, emptiness and loss of confidence it engenders.
One in 10 women in Britain suffer from postnatal depression within a year of giving birth. And while most recover it is a dark shadow on what you feel should be the happiest time of your life.
Just acknowledging it is the first step – and the hardest.
Try talking to your doctor or health visitor. Drugs and therapy are available but support from family and friends also helps enormously.
There’s a lot of guilt associated with depression. So much easier to admit to a bad dose of flu.
Even the people we love don’t always understand how it feels. But thankfully greater awareness of the condition is helping remove the stigma.
Don’t always assume that everything is all rosy for a new mum. Try to be there, offering to take the baby out in the pram for a walk so she can have a bath or shower in peace can work wonders.
We all need a little ‘me’ time. It can restore us, refresh us and give us the strength to carry on.
The world is a more enlightened place now. People are generally much more understanding about depression.
And Adele’s courage in telling us how it was for her is another step in that journey.