Eldest children may get to be No 1 but they’ re only first among equals
It’s a touchy subject in many families – but it has long been believed that the firstborn child has all the advantages.
Now a study published by Edinburgh University shows that the oldest child on average has more intelligence than younger siblings and is often taller and will live longer.
In IQ tests, firstborns score between 1.5 and 2 points more than their younger brothers and sisters. It’s suggested that this could be because parents have more time to invest in their first child. I can’t help but agree.
As a doting new mum or dad you spend hours entertaining your precious new baby, stimulating him or her with games, educational toys and nursery rhymes – but with every additional child there is simply less time.
I read more books on how to bring up a baby during my first pregnancy but when I was pregnant for the second, third and fourth time I relied on instinct.
My firstborn Gavin was treated to his own little slice of lemon sole fish mashed with potatoes and fresh carrots but all too often his younger siblings ate what the rest of the family ate and the fall-back in emergencies was a jar of baby food.
He got the brand new bike and the posh little party suits. They got hand-me-downs and well-used bikes, games and toys.
Did it make a difference? I don’t believe the three younger children missed out.
I’d grown up as an only child and envied my pals who had siblings, so I was happy that I was able to give them what I’d missed – a family life which was sometimes a bit messy and noisy, but they had each other. I think it worked.
As adults they’re friends. They enjoy a laugh together. They babysit each other’s children.
But in the interests of scientific research I have to admit that No 1 son is taller than the rest, has so far lived longer, is a successful psychologist and this week leaves to take up his dream job with the biggest oil and gas company in the world – Saudi Aramco.
Naturally he believes every word of this latest research – why wouldn’t he, having spent most of his life telling his brothers and sister that he’s smarter, much to their irritation.
All parents learn as they go along and sometimes the children born later in the family are more relaxed and easy-going. Is it because the pressure is off? Perhaps mum and dad feel they don’t need to stress quite so much about being the perfect parent.
Look at the Middleton family. Firstborn Kate bagged a Prince, but her sister Pippa looks like she enjoys life more.
We can’t choose our place in the family. All we can do is enjoy it and make sure that, if the firstborn shows any signs of smug superiority, he doesn’t get everything his own way!