Family life has been shattered since my son-in-law’s death

Dear June

I’VE always considered myself blessed to have a loving husband, two wonderful daughters and good health. My kids are married and we have three grandchildren. Two years ago, my son-in-law complained of stomach problems and at the end of last year we lost him to cancer. We’re all in shock as he was a fit 36-year-old who always took care of himself. He was like a son to us and my daughter’s world has fallen apart. Can you offer her any solace?

Patricia, Cumbria.

June Says

It is always difficult for loved ones to say goodbye to someone so young. It seems very unfair.

You are very lucky to have such a loving, close family and it is understandable your daughter feels her world has come tumbling down.

She has lost the one she built her dreams with and her grief will prevent her from seeing any light regarding her future without him.

He was also blessed to have been a part of your family and he will know you have all pulled together to support one another and that the strong family bonds will see you through this emotional trauma.

I get the impression he was an easy-going young man but also a hard worker who wanted nothing more than to be able to provide for and look after his family as best he could.

I sense he made arrangements to that effect during his illness, so his family would have financial security.

He will be missed by many people as he was respected, loyal and liked by everyone.

I am shown a picture of a pretty young blonde girl (his daughter?) and know she meant the world to him.

I see a tattoo but I’m unsure whether it was his tattoo or a tattoo acquired in his memory.

I see a view in my mind’s eye of snow-capped mountains all around, which gives me the sensation I’m standing on top of the world. Is this a memory?

I feel there were two formal goodbyes made to him. Did he have two memorial services?

He is often fondly spoken of by family and friends.

He’ll never be forgotten and his memory will live on within those who love him.

VERDICT

He was a well-respected, hardworking young man with a most pleasant nature and his absence is sorely missed from the lives of many.

He was a huge part of our very close family and he knows we would all be standing together.

His daughter is seven, with blonde hair, and they were inseparable.

He had her name tattooed on his shoulder after her birth.

He was a great climber and the mountains were where he loved to be.

Some of his ashes were scattered by friends and family at a quiet ceremony (another informal service) and the view looked as if they were standing on top of the world.