When my dear son died, I felt like I died too

Dear June

It’s been almost two years since my 42-yearold son died.

I dream about him most nights. He seems so real and alive that I feel heartache when I awake and realise he is gone.

I feel very isolated in my grief and although my family is starting to move on, I feel stuck and alone as I don’t think they really understand how I feel.

It’s hard for me to explain, but we were so close that I feel I died when he died.

Mrs A, email.

June Says

When a mum loses a child, she also loses a part of herself – that feeling has been described by many mothers and they all quoted words similar to yours.

This particular grief can only be truly understood by those who have endured a similar loss.

I can understand why you feel alone and isolated and I would like to reassure you that the pain will become easier to bear through time.

Spirit draws closer to us during the quieter, more relaxed times, which are mostly while we sleep.

Your son makes himself known to you in those times when your mind is calm and emotion-free.

The difference between a dream and a visitation is that a dream will fade but a visitation will remain sharp and clear in your mind and you will always be able to vividly remember it.

I feel impressed to say your son’s passing was sudden and unexpected.

I do not sense physical illness prior to his passing.

I feel there was an impact that might’ve been caused by an accident. I am drawn to the chest area.

I sense a quiet-natured hard worker of loyal character.

I receive mental pictures from those in spirit that vary from memories of objects

and/or views of particular places that would have meant something to them.

At present, I am being shown a small pot of gold paint and a little brush. I hope this is of significance to you as it’s a strange one!

I do not feel he was an only child but I sense an extra special closeness between you and your boy.

You are still closely connected. He is with you always, as you have a partnership that can’t be broken even after physical death.

VERDICT

I have three children, but my son was from my first marriage and it was just us for a time before I met my second husband.

I love all of my children but my son and I had a very special bond that continued throughout his life.

The gold paint and brush was used by me to decorate a memory box I put together with some of my son’s things in it.

I spent a lot of time on it after he died and wondered if he knew about it.

He was involved in a road traffic accident that was not his fault and died at the scene.