Martin Kemp has invitations for Elvis, Bowie and Marilyn Monroe
But after Andy won Wimbledon, I thought, right, now I can tell my story
Women think on behalf of women in a way that men don’t
Iloved the story last week of the open letter that mum Toni Hammer wrote to her daughter.
The letter, which has been viewed thousands of times online, told her four-year-old wee one not to apologise for being who she is. To be herself. To be brave and bold. Well done that mum! Lots of research has shown that women can lack confidence and be too apologetic.
We can spend far too much of our lives trying to be how we think other people want us to be. We should make no apology for ourselves. I remember reading an article that said it’s not until women are 52 that they find their confidence. I read it and thought that’s pretty much me. There were a number of things that happened to me around that time.
The first was being appointed captain of Great Britain’s Fed Cup team. It was the first time anyone had recognised I was a good coach. By then I’d become – to most people – Andy and Jamie’s mum.
The role, and having a name of my own again, gave me a lot of confidence. To have the chance to captain my country was fantastic.
Nicola Sturgeon spoke recently about when she was a young politician and how she unconsciously emulated the behaviour of all the middle-aged men around her and I can understand that. In coaching, you can find yourself in a room with 12 times as many men as women. You can put on a bit of an act to appear confident and to fit in but you’re actually thinking, get me out of here!
It’s one of the reasons that I loved getting behind Scottish Women And Girls In Sport last week. I’m also the founder of She Rallies. Its goal is to empower and expand the number of women and girls coaching and playing tennis across the UK. This programme is all about bringing girls and women together. Collectively, women can have a much stronger voice. In the workplace, it’s about having more women in decision-making positions. Women think on behalf of other women in a way that men don’t. There’s more willingness to share and network.
I wouldn’t necessarily have spoken up in the past. From about 2005, I was getting a lot of flak in the media just for being Andy and Jamie’s mum.
I was too aggressive and too competitive. The way I dressed was wrong. The way I behaved was wrong. And, apparently, I never smiled. Ever. I never retaliated.
It wasn’t until Andy won Wimbledon in 2013 that I thought, right, I can tell my story and how we went from swingball in the back garden to Centre Court and what went in to helping him get there. I’ve got a voice.
There’s a groundswell around giving girls and women a voice and empowering them. Let’s work to make it happen. We owe it to our future generations of girls.