Estranged since Dad died

Dear June

My world caved in after Dad passed.

The family split because of money and possessions and at the time it was awful.

He and Mum divorced years ago but remained on talking terms.

My sister and I haven’t spoken in four years.

Does he know what’s happening? When will this turmoil end?

Bev, Alloa.

June Says

Losing a loved one can often either pull a family closer together or drive them further apart. Either usually occurs very quickly after the passing.

After a loss, family left behind can begin to fully appreciate one another.

A close loss has a habit of putting a different perspective on the way we view life and whether or not we have taken someone for granted.

The sad realisation that life is short has true meaning and they’ll act accordingly by pulling closer in support.

Sadly, the opposite can happen, and this mostly occurs because of material possessions and financial gain. Many families have been torn apart over possessions.

When going through grief, they aren’t thinking clearly and not acting in their usual character.

More positively, I’ve found through experience that many families draw together again once the grief settles and they are of clearer mind. But, unfortunately, things can never go back to the way they were because of the damage caused to family values and trust.

Your dad will know what’s been going on and will be doing his best to calm things down.