MAGGIE LISTENS TO YOUR WOES

Dear Maggie

My husband’s old school friend moved near us earlier last year.

We had not really seen him since our wedding 10 years ago and, to begin with, it was nice to catch up.

However, he started coming round when he knew my husband was going to be out and I was going to be on my own.

I felt uncomfortable and when he hinted at the possibility of an affair I wasn’t entirely surprised and told my husband.

My husband had a word, but his friend laughed it off and said I’d misunderstood.

The visits stopped though, until a couple of weeks ago when he just showed up again.

I don’t know if I should tell my husband or confront this man myself.

Maggie says

Difficult though it is, I think you need to deal with this yourself.

Arrange to meet this man who has so betrayed the trust of his friend, your husband, and tell him in no uncertain terms how let down you feel by his actions.

There is absolutely no excuse for what he has done – it’s completely out of order.

Wisely, you’ve had the good sense not to be flattered by his interest in you.

This is a man who thinks of one person only – himself.

If you had responded to him, there would have been an affair.

It may have been exciting and thrilling in the short term, but you would have had feelings of guilt at letting your husband down.

It could have led to the end of your marriage. Would it have been worth it? I doubt it.

This man has no moral compass.

Friendship and close relationships mean very little to him.

He lives in the moment and believes that what he wants he can have. No doubt he has a lot of charm – but that’s not enough.

Both you and your husband need him out of your life for good.

It won’t be easy to do this but have the courage to stand firm.

Say what needs to be said and then get on with what really matters – the marriage you have with a man who knows the meaning of loyalty.