Humza could weather the storm by telling us to wrap up and head for the pub
It never rains but it pours and on Wednesday, when flooding led to the closure of the Edinburgh to Glasgow rail line, it must have felt that it was clattering down in biblical proportions for Humza Yousaf, the muchcriticised transport minister.
So much so, I’m surprised he can walk without leaving a puddle.
To be honest, even though the start of my day was a washout because I foolishly decided to give these jokers at ScotFail another chance and let the train take the strain, I felt sorry for poor Humza. Well, for about 15 minutes. Come wind, rain, snow and even shine, when our ferries can’t sail, our road network judders to a halt, our planes can’t fly and our choo-choo’s stop chugging, Humza tries his very best to keep our spirits up and the country moving.
Given the amount of weather warnings, amber alerts, safety advice and traffic tweets he has issued over the past few weeks, I’m positive he spends most of his day surrounded by banks of TV screens belting out reams of stats and forecasts.
But, as Wednesday proved, Humza is continually derailed by ScotFail and their lamentable attempts to keep Scotland’s rail network on track.
We were told to expect extremely low temperatures, possibly snow bombs, freezing fog, black ice and that flooding would most likely follow.
The advance warnings that we should keep off the roads, were flashed up, well in advance by Humza, Traffic Scotland and Police Scotland.
Predictably, that advice was ignored and our roads became massive car parks.
Many vehicles were abandoned by dim-wit drivers who couldn’t cope with the weather conditions.
And then we have the hundreds of lorries, whose drivers, rather than pull over to let the gritters do their work, carry on regardless, until they end up jack-knifing.
And don’t get me started on those mountaineering morons who go climbing in a blizzard and have to be rescued while dangling from a cliff face.
If we are to weather the winter storms of travel in the future then it’s time to act.
I’ve given up with ScotFail, and there’s not a lot the ferries or airports can do about severe weather, but plenty can be done about the imbeciles on our roads.
Large, empty lorries and vans, any other motorists who are clearly not equipped to deal with the conditions, and any budding Edmund Hillarys, all should be made to pay for their stupidity by charging them the full cost of their rescue!
And Humza, next time you post or tweet a travel or weather warning, point out that it’s not Armageddon and we don’t have to stay at home.
Tell us to wrap up and pop down to the local restaurant, pub or club, where I’m sure there will be a warm welcome waiting.