Hurt by my boyfriend’s holiday

Dear Maggie

For the last few months I’ve been going out with a really nice guy and we’ve grown very close, very quickly.

I’ve been looking forward to spending more time with him so I was really upset when he told me about his plans for his summer holiday – which didn’t include me.

I tried to hide how hurt I was, but he must have guessed as he apologised.

He said he hadn’t expected to be in a serious relationship when he booked the holiday last year, but the trip means a lot to him.

I’m not sure I believe him. Surely if he genuinely cared for me he’d with cancel or find some way to include me?

Do you think this is his way of giving me the brush off?

Maggie says

You may not want to hear this – but I think you are being a bit unfair to this nice guy.

As you say, this is a special trip which obviously means a lot to him – and I’m sure given your strong feelings for him you don’t really want him to feel bad or guilty about it.

I hope you can find it in your heart to be positive about his holiday plans.

His holiday doesn’t mean he is giving you the brush-off or doesn’t care for you.

It just means he’s doing something with a different group of friends.

In relationships, it’s important to be independent and have your own interests as well as doing things together.

Talk to him about the two of you going away together at a later point. Or you could plan a surprise weekend away together for you.