My sister can’t see she is being treated like dirt by her layabout boyfriend. What should I do?

Dear Maggie

For the past three years my sister has been living with a guy who no one likes and who most of the family go out of their way to avoid.

He’s awful to my sister and treats her like dirt, even though she does everything for him, including subsidising his snooker because he can’t afford to pay for it himself.

He does nothing to help and now things are worse since his son has moved in with them too. His ex-wife dumped him on them and then disappeared. It’s even more work for my sister and he still does nothing. Why can’t she see that he’s just using her?

Maggie says

She probably can – but doesn’t want to admit it to herself.

I can understand your concerns for your sister and it certainly sounds as if her partner is taking advantage of her and not treating her well. But in the end it’s her choice and her decision about how she wants to live her life. Until she feels she’s had enough of his attitude there is really nothing you can do.

You can try talking to her about your concerns but at this stage I reckon she’d leap to his defence. No one ever completely understands the dynamics of another person’s relationship. Only the two people involved know what they are prepared to accept.

It says a lot for your sister that she’s prepared to help by looking after her partner’s son. She sounds a very capable and warm-hearted person and I do hope the man she clearly loves now wakes up and realises how fortunate he is to have her.

Chances are of course, that may never happen.

In the meantime stay close to your sister. The time may come when she decides enough is enough but until then the best thing you can do is just be there for her in a supportive way.