How do I tell my dad I’m going to marry his wife’s ex-husband?

Dear Maggie

My stepmother and her ex-husband parted amicably, so when she married my dad, he came along to the wedding. That’s where I met him and I have been going out with him ever since.

I never intended for this to happen, especially as he is 15 years older than me, but we fell in love and now we want to get married too. I’ve been keeping it a secret from the rest of the family, because I thought they would disapprove, and I’m especially worried about how my dad is going to react.

If I’m going to get married, I want my dad there, so I have to tell him and I’m dreading it. Any ideas on how to approach this without causing a big scene?

Maggie Says

The only way to deal with this is to be absolutely honest with your stepmother and your dad. Invite them over to your home for a meal and explain to them how you feel.

They may well be surprised but it sounds as if there was no rancour between your stepmother and her ex-husband and perhaps she will be able to understand why you fell in love with him. After all, at one point, she did herself.

It might be a bit of shock to your dad at first, but if you can talk openly to him about your feelings, he may in time come to see that what matters most is that this man makes you happy. In the end that is what every parent wants for their child.

It is an unconventional situation, but if you know for sure that this is the man for you, then don’t let anything stand in the way of your relationship.