Your wife knows how much you still mourn her

Dear June

I suffered from depression for years and admit to not being the easiest person to live with at times. My wife understood my illness and stuck by me. My family hasn’t spoken to me since I lost my wife six years ago. Our daughter and her family live close by but we fell out at the funeral.

I miss my wife so much and loved her dearly but found it difficult to show my emotions. I hope she knows she was my life.

T. Swan, via email.

June Says

Depression can take over our lives.

It can take away our enthusiasm and leave us feeling low in self-esteem, and less tolerant towards others.

Many people do not understand a person with depression can’t simply “pull themselves together”.

Your wife would have had a better understanding than most as she would have witnessed the effects this illness had on your life.

Not everyone is comfortable showing their emotions, but this does not mean they don’t truly love someone and they might show love in other ways.

As I open up to make a connection, I am aware of an older gentleman who I sense to be your father.

I can smell alcohol. He is being pushed forward by a younger female who I feel is your wife.

I sense she is bringing your father forward to allow you both to make peace.

I feel she was one of life’s great fixers who did not like disharmony among close friends and family, and would do her best to resolve any animosity.

As she was the peacekeeper, her passing has made things difficult for you all to resolve issues, so

she fully understands how much she’s loved and missed.

I am impressed to say her passing was unexpected but I feel she suffered ill health for quite a few years.

The love she held for you all allowed her to continue looking after her family.

Do not worry about her as she is surrounded by family and friends who love her and is doing her best to break down the barriers that keep her family apart.

VERDICT

She was the peacemaker of our family and I miss her.

I did not have a good relationship with my father growing up and many issues were left unresolved.

He battled depression and alcoholism most of his life.

My beautiful wife would want peace between us.

She suffered ill health the last few years of her life, but never complained.

We were shocked when she passed so quickly as we all thought she was doing much better than she actually was, as she hid it from us all.

It is no surprise to me that she is still trying to make everything better.