Francis Gay

A sideways look at life:

We have all heard of Mother’s Day – but have you heard of Mother-in-law’s Day?

Every year, on her daughter’s wedding anniversary, Ellen gets flowers and a card.

Inside the card is a message from her son-in-law, thanking her for doing such a good job in raising the wonderful woman who became his wife and mother to their children.

The young couple just celebrated their 20th anniversary. And Ellen has been included in every one.

“It’s a nice treat,” she told me. “Even more so because it tells me how much he appreciates my daughter.”

It also tells me she taught her daughter to have pretty good taste in men.

Mother-in-law’s Day. It’s not a regular tradition outside Ellen’s family as far as I know but, husbands, if you know what’s good for you, you could help it become one. John’s regular stop on the way to work is about coffee – and waking up.

He never thought it was anything more. Until the young woman serving him made eye contact, smiled extra brightly and asked how his day was going.

Something about her personal touch prompted him to say, “Excuse me. Do you know me?”

“Oh,” she replied. “Everyone knows you.”

John couldn’t understand that. Then she continued. “At least, everyone in here knows you. You’re the guy who always smiles, who always makes us feel appreciated, who always gets our day off to a better start. So, we thought we’d try to follow your example.”

And John thought he was only getting coffee. You never know the effect you have – even on the smallest of encounters – so make sure it’s a good one. The young folk-singer had the audience where she wanted them; the lyrics were heart-tugging, her fingers rested on the guitar strings, she drew a breath and prepared for her sweet, clear voice to bring the song home.

Then her three-year-old daughter tugged her sleeve and said, “Mum, I need to show you something!”

The carefully crafted mood came crashing down – but everyone had a laugh. “I guess she didn’t realise you were working,” I said, afterwards.

“She sees me playing and hears me singing around the house all the time,” my friend replied.

How wonderful, I thought, for your childhood to be ordinarily filled with music and the sound of mummy singing. “Were you not a little tempted to be annoyed?” I asked.

“Hmmm…” she considered it. “If I was, I’d just remember – she’s the prettiest music I ever made.” I was talking with Helen and Suzy about how words and opinions might change the direction of someone’s life.

Helen had always wanted to be a pianist, but her mum encouraged her to take the typing class at school, instead of music. “So, I never became a musician,” she said, wistfully.

“Ahh, but maybe you did,” Suzy said. “And the touch typing came in handy as well.”

In response to our confused looks, she explained, “I’ve seen Helen type her poetry while gazing out the window at her garden. She’s been published in various magazines, and her words have made me laugh and cry. Isn’t that just like playing music?”

The world is a very practical place, but the beauty comes through. Sometimes, in ways so obvious we just don’t see them – until they are pointed out.

Make the most of a sunny day, Wave goodbye to chores, Save them for a rainy day, Instead, get out of doors. Walking, gardening,

meeting a friend, Whatever you choose to do, It’s guaranteed to lift your mood,

The day is beckoning you.