That’s life with my mum Esther
Esther Rantzen, 78, is celebrating her 50th anniversary in broadcasting.
To mark the milestone, the former That’s Life! presenter is going on tour, talking about her life and career with her daughter Rebecca, 38, who is also a TV presenter. Part of the Esther Rantzen: That’s Life! show – which will be at the Gilded Balloon in Edinburgh from August 10 to 12 – is scripted, although Rebecca says her mum rarely sticks to it, and there is a Q&A with Esther, who also has a daughter, Miriam, and son, Josh.
Here Esther, whose husband was award-winning documentary maker Desmond Wilcox, and Rebecca tell writer BILL GIBB all about each other.
We grew up in a very normal household, albeit with workaholic parents who were incredibly successful.
We had privacy and both mum and dad would come home with inspiring stories. I remember extraordinary dinner parties with people like Andrew Lloyd Webber, Anneka Rice, Anthea Turner and Maureen Lipman being like the extended family.
Mum was so hands-on. She went back to work six weeks after having me, which, as a mother myself, I can’t comprehend. But she had nannies to help and she had us at work with her until we went to nursery.
So she was always there when we needed her. Both she and my father were early adopters of the mobile phone and they would always answer, even in the middle of important meetings.
She wasn’t around as much as I am for my kids and there were moments when I missed her, but she’d always be there for school plays, parents’ evenings, birthdays or if we were just sad. And we’d also have family supper together at 7pm which I really want to adopt with my kids.
I was a horrible teenager and I blamed all of my hormonal unhappiness on the fact she worked, but looking back, it was just being spotty and 14.
She has always been an example of what I’d like to achieve but I didn’t want to get there as Esther Rantzen’s daughter and when I went to work at ITV I didn’t tell people who my mum was.
Although she was always there for advice, never ask for her opinion unless you’re prepared to hear the truth. If I was confident about a show I’d done I’d let her see it and be able to take the rough with the smooth.
It was never mean but I’d ask if it was any good and she’d say: “No, it isn’t, darling – but here’s how you can improve it.”
I did one documentary I was really proud of and she was very quiet and then just said she thought I’d really got something.
That was the best moment for me, better than any review I ever got.
My mum is hilarious in that she has no line of shame. I opened a newspaper once to see a picture of her upside down in fishnet stockings and a corset.
And when she told us she’d been offered Celebrity First Dates we said no, no, no – but she went right ahead and did it. My brother said living with her was like living with a volcano as you never know when it would explode.
Her really important rule is never go to sleep on an argument, which I’ve always tried to follow with my husband during the trials of having two young kids. And losing dad so early has taught us all to live for the moment.
We’re still incredibly close and on the phone all the time. But she does drive me nuts at times – especially when she says yes to my children when I’ve said no.
When my kids are around, she’s the naughty third toddler who incites mischief.
Rebecca on Esther Mum is hilarious, she has no line of shame. I once opened a paper to see a picture of her upside down in fishnet stockings and a corset
Rebecca is very funny, mischievous and she likes a bit of danger, physically and mentally – but not when her children are around and I try to show them how to grab a stinging nettle.
She goes on amazing diving expeditions and does the sort of elaborate yoga positions which don’t seem to me to be what the human body was intended to do.
And she asks me very difficult questions which I can’t think of a polite way to answer.
As far as her character, she has her father’s eloquence, courage and sportiness. She also has an extremely dirty laugh. I don’t know where that comes from – she may have invented it.
I always adore the company of children and my favourite times are spent with my children.
And the same was true of Desmond.
All our most precious memories were of our family holidays together.
But when I had to go to work I’d take all three of them in with me so I didn’t miss time with them, which may have been a bit selfish as I don’t know how much fun they had in my BBC office.
In the studio, though, they had many games where they hid behind the curtains or in Terry Wogan’s wardrobe.
So that was quite fun.
But growing up knowing about studios and cameras was probably quite useful for her when she was a new television reporter because it held no fears for her.
I think that is an advantage for people growing up with a broadcasting background as they are quite relaxed in a studio.
Interestingly, she has decided not to follow what I did and be a working mother practically all her life and she is going to spend time with her sons when they are little.
I think there’s probably a moral there.
I am a bit timid – you’ll be surprised to hear – about advising my children.
I’ve always felt that they should follow their own dreams and inclinations.
They should go where they feel comfortable.
I have one who’s a doctor, one a social worker and one a television reporter.
That was their choice to pick those vocations.
I would certainly have been quite upset if she had wanted to be an actress as I have really talented friends who have found it so difficult to get work.
An actor’s life is a series of rejections unless you are extraordinarily lucky, and that would have been very tough for me to see.
So, having said I don’t advise, I might have recommended her not to follow the life of an actor.
I’m proud of so many things about her.
She is talented as a television interviewer and, being a professional myself, when I tell her I like something she’s done it probably carries a bit more weight.
She is also brilliant as a mother, even though she does disapprove of me with her sons a bit – and is probably right.
My temptation is to let them get totally mucky and play with snails. She’s a bit stricter.
But then the parent has the responsibility and the grandparent can spoil them.
The way she always reads bedtime stories and that they have family meals together is certainly the way we brought her up.
They are very much the things we’ve passed on to our children.
We took her to the theatre when she was very young and she still comes to the theatre with me, which I love.
And now she’s taking her sons to the theatre.
I’ve learned from her, too. She’s very good on fashion and she won’t let me throw out some clothes I’ve had for years when I try make space in my wardrobe.
She’s always right and she’s very useful in terms of my dress sense and with technology.
And she is a much better cook than I am. Mind you, that’s not saying much.
Sitting on the lawn eating one of her barbecues is a real pleasure.
Esther on Rebecca Rebecca has her father’s eloquence, courage and sportiness. She also has an extremely dirty laugh