My depression is deepening. Life just seems pointless. How can I turn things around?
Dear Maggie
I’m 43 and I feel like I’ve never achieved anything in my life. I’ve got no friends and have drifted from one job to the next, never enjoying any of them and never progressing. If anyone asks me what I want to do, I have no answer. I’ve never had a lasting relationship and my last girlfriend left me saying that I was boring. The sad thing is, she was right – I never have anything interesting to say. People lead such exciting, interesting lives, whereas I struggle to get from one day to the next without feeling like it’s all so futile and then you die. You probably think this is a bit melodramatic, but it’s how I feel. In fact, I don’t even know why I am writing to you.
Maggie Says
It sounds like you really need to talk about how down you are feeling. Have you considered going to see your doctor about your melancholy feelings, worries and low self-esteem? This despair you are feeling may be down to an illness, either physiological or psychological, and there are therapies, counselling and/or medication available for people who suffer in this way. You’re convincing yourself that you’re a failure and that everyone else in the world has a more interesting life. They don’t. But your depressive feelings could be a sign that you need some support to get yourself and your life back on track. If it is more that you feel stuck in a rut, there are things you can do to spark a change in your life. Have you thought about joining an organisation or offering your services to a charity which interests you? Relating to other people, listening, working and being involved in a new aspect of the world may help to take you out of your negative thoughts. Or perhaps you could start the process of reinventing yourself by making a few firm decisions. Do you hate your job? Would you think about going to college and learning a new skill? Or what about an evening class doing something which appeals to you? You can change your life. You have that power. Seize it and use it and work out what you want. Then, step by step, rebuild your daily routines. Take a new route travelling to work. Surprise people by talking to them on the bus or train. The first port of call should be your GP or a help organisation like the Samaritans if you are feeling very low. However, if you feel you are able to take your future in your own hands, seize the day and make just one small change today. Once you begin, the next bit, and the route to something better, won’t seem quite so difficult.