I feel so low and lonely at this time of the year. What can I do to make my life fulfilling again?
Dear Maggie
When the cold days and the dark nights start creeping in, I seem to lose energy and feel very low.
I retired from work two years ago and I miss the people.
I live alone, which doesn’t help. My son is married and lives in the south of England so I don’t see him very often.
I have a few friends but I just don’t have the energy to make plans to see them.
I know this probably makes me sound pathetic – but is there anything I can do?
Maggie says
Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, but there is something you can do – stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Lots of people experience the winter blues and, as we get older, we have to fight against it.
If your health is good and you don’t have any financial anxieties, try to see the positives in your life.
Make a daily routine of things you enjoy and do them every day.
For example, you could get into the habit of taking a walk.
Exercise helps us to stay focused and happy and is good for our body.
It also means you are out in the world and, if you go at roughly the same time every day, you may meet up with other regular walkers, So smile and say hello. Who knows where that may lead?
If you do your food shopping in the supermarket, smile and make conversation with the person behind the till.
If you have lost contact with friends or family, why not write them a letter or pick up the phone and make an arrangement to meet?
Visit your local library and check out what afternoon or evening classes are being held in your area.
This could be the year you learn a new language or take up a course in crafts or local history.
Retirement offers lots of opportunities to develop new skills and hobbies.
Or have you ever thought about volunteering? Perhaps you’d enjoy working one day a week in a charity shop?
Keep in contact with friends and family. Plan a visit to your son, that will give you something to look forward to in the weeks ahead.
Mild depression is not uncommon for many people at this time of year. If you think you need help, speak to your doctor about how you feel.
Most importantly, please remember that you are not alone.
People of all ages feel down at this time of year, and the only thing we can do is recognise it for what it is and decide to build some positive and happy moments into our day.
Little treats help. Making plans gives us back control of our life. Connecting with people is important. Helping others in small ways brings with it the feelgood factor.
Little by little, I hope you will find that you are conquering the seasonal blues and enjoying life again.
Dear Maggie
I have three children, one at, one is three years old and my baby girl is just six months.
I am finding it hard to cope as my baby is a poor sleeper and wakes every couple of hours during the night.
I’m up two or three times a night and am exhausted every day. I also feel I’m not giving my other children the time they need.
Maggie says
Some babies are poor sleepers but they grow out of it eventually.
Speak to your health visitor about how to respond to your baby’s night-time waking.
Try to make a little moment in each day to spend time alone with each of your children.
It is difficult to cope with three little people who all need you, but I think you are a very caring and loving mum.
Eventually, you will find the pressure will ease and you will find life does get better.