We’ve been married for 25 years but anniversary plans are tearing us apart. Is there a silver lining?

Dear Maggie As of September, my husband and I will have been married for 25 years. We have two children, live in a nice area with good neighbours and enjoy a happy social life with friends and family. I never expected our silver wedding would cause problems for the two of us. The thing is, I want to have a big party for all our friends and family and then to go on a nice holiday to one of our favourite hotels in Spain. I thought my husband would like that, too, but he said he’d much prefer to do something we’ve never done before and go travelling round India, a country he’s always wanted to visit. I’d hate that. Not knowing where we would be staying from one night to another or what the facilities would be like. We’ve talked it through for weeks and both of us have become very stubborn on the issue. I really don’t want our silver wedding to be fraught with tension. What can I do? Maggie says Both of you need to accept there will have to be a compromise. A party with family and friends, a holiday hotel in Spain or backpacking around India...These are three very different ways of celebrating your silver wedding. So why not put them into the melting pot of a serious discussion and see if you can both come up with different ideas which would appeal to both of you? It sounds as if your husband is a little bit bored with the familiar holiday in Spain. And it sounds as if you are anxious about travelling in India – but there are lots of options which might interest both of you if you talk freely about the subject. Perhaps a visit to a travel agent might help concentrate your minds a little bit. India has some very good hotels and wonderful places to visit. And there’s more to Europe than just Spain – why not suggest Italy, France or Greece? Both of you need to keep an open mind and be willing to try something different. You’ve achieved 25 years of marriage – that’s something worth celebrating. Now the future beckons and finding a holiday which meets both your needs is the best way to enjoy what you have achieved together through your marriage. It could also be the start of a new era where you plan visits to places neither of you have visited before but want to explore together. I hope you both enjoy your silver wedding, whichever way you decide to celebrate it. Good luck for the next 25 years.