Maggie Listens

Our life seems perfect, but my husband wants us to give it all up for the sake of a promotion

Resident agony aunt Maggie Clayton

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to

Dear Maggie

My husband works for an engineering company and he loves his job.

Last month, his boss told him the firm was opening a branch in the north of England. He was offered the chance of promotion, if he was willing to relocate.

He was thrilled at this opportunity, but it’s the last thing I want.

We have a nice home just outside Edinburgh. Our two boys are settled at a primary school where they are doing well and have lots of friends. I really enjoy my volunteer work with a local charity.

Our parents are always happy to come round to our house and, basically, I think we have a perfect life – so why change it?

But in the past few weeks my husband and I have had several heated discussions.

On one hand I want to support him so he can have this opportunity for promotion, but on the other I don’t want our life to change.

I can’t see a way to resolve this. What do you think would be best?

Maggie says

This is a tough one and I can understand why you don’t want to disrupt the good life you have created here with your family.

But, at the same time, your husband wants to take advantage of this opportunity to further his career and that’s only natural.

He clearly doesn’t want to go there on his own and be apart from his family. That’s understandable.

The practicalities are that it may take time to sell your house, find another one and get your boys settled into a new school.

But if you are willing to support him I think you will find this will mean so much to him.

Children are very adaptable and your boys will make new friends, as will you. See this as an opportunity for your family to share a new adventure together.

The north of England is within easy travelling distance and you can have lots of visits from friends and family.

If you dig in and refuse to move, your husband may well resent the loss of this opportunity. So I’d suggest that you try to see the positive side and support him in this move.

The last thing anyone wants in life is to look back and say - I wish I had taken that chance.

The road not taken is always the one we always regret.