My other half breaks the bank every Christmas... and she has the cheek to call me Scrooge

Dear Maggie

My wife and I have been happily married for 15 years, with two teenagers who mean the world to us.

I work a lot of overtime so we can give them everything they need, plus a family holiday every summer and a good Christmas.

There’s only one problem. My wife goes overboard every Christmas. Already our house is full of umpteen toys, games, clothes, books and selection boxes she has bought and hidden away.

Every year we have a big row and it takes us months to catch up financially.

My wife explains that she gathers things up slowly over a few months and that she looks for bargains, but a bargain is only a bargain if it is something you need, not just frivolous spending.

When I complain she just calls me a Christmas Scrooge and ignores me.

Is there any way I can get through to her?

Maggie says

Clearly not. You have been trying for years and she continues to overspend at Christmas.

You could suggest setting a budget this year and sticking to it. You could offer to go shopping with her and set a limit to what will be spent. But I suspect that even if you do that, she will still find a way to add “extras” in the shopping days leading up to Christmas.

Try having an honest chat with her about how you feel and perhaps you can both compromise.

Try to agree on a spending limit which would be acceptable to both of you.

There needs to be a little bit of give and take on both sides and, if she understands that you are not being Scrooge deliberately, you just don’t want to over-indulge your children, she may have a better understanding of your position. It’s worth a try.

The truth is I have been having exactly that same row with my husband for decades.

It never changes. It’s as unfailing a tradition in our house as mince pies and ginger wine.

Hopefully talking to each other honestly will lead to a happier, calmer, festive season for both of you to enjoy with your family.

And with a bit of luck “Scrooge” can become a memory of Christmas past.