My husband has landed his dream job – but it would be a great upheaval for our family

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to

Dear Maggie

My husband has been offered promotion at work.

It’s a job he has always wanted, but it would mean moving to the company’s head office in London.

Our two children are settled into a good primary school in Edinburgh and I think it would disrupt their education if we moved.

They have friends here and we have a lovely home and the truth is, I really don’t want to give that up.

Every time we discuss the situation my husband gets very irritable and it ends in a row.

Why can’t he understand this is our life he is talking about and it’s not all about him?

Maggie Says

I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I think both of you are being a bit unreasonable.

This decision affects the whole family and both you and your husband need to understand this.

He wants to advance his career and now has the opportunity to do so in his dream job.

The chance may not come along again any time soon.

Your children are doing well at school and you have a happy home life, so I can understand why you are reluctant to give that up.

Moving away from the life you know obviously brings its challenges – new schools, new friends, new surroundings, a new way of life.

But the truth is it is possible to recreate that in London just as you have done in your current home.

It’s not the place that matters – it’s the people you are surrounded by every day.

So I suggest you and your husband sit down and have a full and frank discussion about this and make clear to each other what your feelings are about the situation.

There needs to be emotional honesty and a willingness to compromise.

Only then can you work out what is best for yourselves and your family.

It’s important to talk through your feelings before you come to a decision.

I do hope you can both understand that the choices you make will have a big impact on your family life now and in the future.

Good luck, and I hope everything ends happily for both of you and your children, whatever you and your husband decide.