READ TODAY’S FRANCIS GAY COLUMN ON

True lesson of rush hour... We’re too quick to judge

Be of optimistic mind, Even in times of stress, Go outside, talk to friends, If life just seems a mess. Think of things that make you smile, Confide in your family, Things have a way of working out, Which at the time we cannot see.

The bus was busy with people heading to work or school, but all the double seats had single occupants. A man got on the bus with his young daughter.

Stacey saw the hesitation on their faces. Neither of them wanted to sit with a stranger. Thinking she would move so they could sit together, she scanned the other passengers wondering who would and wouldn’t object if she sat next to them.

Some had deliberately spread themselves out, some were unattractive options for other reasons. She decided one particular woman looked a bit grumpy – but she would risk it!

Before Stacey moved the “grumpy” woman stood, said, “Sit here with your dad, sweetheart,” and came and sat next to her!

“We both had the same idea,” Stacey told me afterwards, “and I can claim some credit for that.

“But she spent less time judging than I did – and I can take a lesson from that!”

I meet Kenny once a week. He’s a cheery, helpful guy, always ready with a joke.

It was exactly the same yesterday. Then I asked what he’d done over the holidays. He said he’d had a little respite. I asked from what. He told me his dad had died and now he was his mother’s carer. His mother had dementia.

As he told me about the difficulties and the little victories, I tried hard not to weep.

I felt like hugging him but wasn’t sure if it would make things better or worse.

So, instead I told him he was a hero (as are all those who are doing their best in such heartbreaking situations).

Then we went back to banter and jokes – but I hope the talk helped.

It’s my firm belief that people are wonderful.

And you never can tell what is behind a smile!

Someone spray-painted nonsense on Harry’s garage wall. He was angry, but he pushed that to one side. You see, the wall was beside the path to the primary school and he didn’t want young children thinking this sort of thing was just... normal.

So, he contacted a friend who knew a street artist. The young woman came along, inspected the graffiti and, for a few pounds, painted a mural of cartoon characters over it.

The children loved it! And Harry thinks it’s much nicer than it was before..

There’s no getting away from the fact that we have damaged people doing damage in our world. But it’s a comfort to know that there are also people taking their ugly “work” and turning it into beauty. May the family, friends, and professionals working with those damaged people have as much success as Harry and his street-artist did.

Some time ago a friend helped Danny out with a gift of some money to pay a bill.

He couldn’t hope to pay it back but his friend didn’t want him to.

He insisted Danny pay it forward by helping others when he got the chance.

Well, that was months ago and I was talking to him yesterday.

“At first I did it to keep a promise,” he told me.

“But, you know what?

“There’s a happiness that comes from helping people I hadn’t felt before; something more than the happiness of paying off a debt.”

As I walked on I couldn’t help but wonder if that happiness and not the money had been the real gift the anonymous friend gave Danny.