Resident Agony Aunt solves your problems
My mum has recently become really forgetful. How do we face up to a future with Alzheimer’s?
Dear Maggie
My mum is 71 but she doesn’t look it. She is physically fit and active and always keeps herself busy.
She enjoys time with her grandchildren and goes out with her friends for lunch, reads a lot of books and is interested in what’s happening in the world. She never misses the TV news and loves watching Question Time.
But over the past six months I have been a bit worried about her because she forgets things frequently and repeats the same stories over and over again.
Even her grandchildren are noticing that there’s a change in granny’s memory. I’ve suggested she speak to the doctor about it but she is adamant that she’s fine and can remember the past clearly, so what are we worrying about?
I know she is frightened of Alzheimer’s disease which claimed the life of her grandfather. I’ve suggested she should ask her GP for a memory test but she seems reluctant to have that done.
I’ve offered to go with her for support but she doesn’t want to confront the problem and insists she is fine. It’s a big worry and I just don’t know how to persuade her to speak to her doctor.
Maggie Says
Your mum is most likely just as worried about her memory loss as you are, but is frightened to confront the issue head on. That’s not uncommon.
There is so much more knowledge available now about memory loss but it still is a huge worry for many people when they begin to realise their brain isn’t working quite as well as it once did.
Mental clarity and memory are vital for our sense of who we are and how we live our life. The ageing process can be more difficult for some people than it is for others. Some experience physical difficulties while others find that their memory doesn’t work as well as it once did.
It’s important not to make your mum feel anxious about this because worry will only make the problem worse. So try gently talking to her about things and hopefully you will get a sense of how she feels about her memory loss.
Don’t be judgmental but try to suggest ways to keep her mind active and engaged. Talk to her about what’s on the news and ask her opinion about politics.
When spring arrives, suggest you both go for long walks and get out in the fresh air because being physically active boosts mental health too.
Alzheimer’s disease is a frightening condition but you must let your mum make her own choices.
It’s up to her to decide when she wants to know exactly what’s happening to her, and how she wants to deal with it.